A
female
age
36-40,
*mYourProblem
writes:Hi. me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years and 9 months. we're very close and very open with eachother.. the down side is that we're long distance. about 300 miles between us..(i'm in the s.f. bay area and she's about an hour from los angeles) the reason why we're not together is that we met on the internet when i was 17 and she was 20, it was hard for me to keep a job and she seems attached to her family and hometown. i've attepted to move to to a city almost half way between us but after 2 months of me being there she backed out and i ended up moving back home.. i couldn't take it any longer so i enlisted with the u.s. army but only stayed for 6 months. i left because sarah gave me an ultimatum, the army or her. obviously i left and came back. i'm back at square one and nothing has eben accomplished except for us seing eachother occasionally... its very hard for us to hold conversations over the phone, we always argue. lately i've been telling her that i want her to be there for me, but she pushes me away and tells me that i bitch too much. honestly, i;m a much more emotional person than she is.. im trying to find common ground and i want to make this work.. i know she does too but for some reason i feel like i'm the only one who's putting our relationship ahead of a lot of things. and i feel like im giving too much and not getting anything in return.. all i ask for is respect and love and i dont want to be pushed away. my other option would be to break up with her... our situation is getting worse by day and any advice would be helpful, thank you so much
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female
reader, Ms.Sweet dreams  +, writes (29 September 2007):
 the women are not all same, maybe u can't just appreciate what she was doing to you. try to appreciate her even she just doing a small things but sincere every one like respect and love. can u ask yourself 1st if u respect her? i know she don't want to make it happen and she want to make your relationship workout. just don't be too much emotional coz she feel that way too. the better way to solve your problem is that you have to talk with each other smoothly, caress her and be sweet to her and everything will be fine. girls love to see test how long is your patient. if she see ur effort then i bet u will get it back. don't throw ur love for each other start for new beginning. goodluck!!!
A
female
reader, velvetcaroline  +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Im in exactly the same situation only its England & Scotland.
Im the equivalent of your girlfriend, my boyfriend is much more emotional that I am about our relationship. I do love him. We've been together almost a year so it's not like yno..
But what to take into account is her experiences with your relationship. My boyfriend has spent alot of money on "us" and effort and things..but Ive sacraficed a huge chunk of my familys trust and support. The other week a mutual friend we have had a go at me about it and I couldnt believe how ignorant he was that I hadnt given as much to the relationship as he had.
She might not be telling you some things, when your in a long distand relationship its easier to ignore each other when you need to shut off, dont let her do it.
Think about your recent phone conversation, was it downbeat/boring/pessimistic. Next time, when you answer the phone or say hello say it in a really happy enthusiastic way, itll set the mood for the whole phonecall. Have a few recent funny stories or interesting world news or soemthing. Youve just lost the spark, not the fire.
-caroline
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