A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyoneI wonder if you could help me/give some advice on my dilemma please.All my life I have been single. I’ve never had a girlfriend (don’t get me wrong I had some teenage crushes but they were just rose tinted teenage dreams), but never been out with anyone etc. This has kind of been because of other circumstances till recently (location, commitments etc), but also I’ve always been very strict on myself. I don’t think it’s fair to go out/date someone who you know isn’t right/you won’t be able to live with forever, I think it’s unfair/a bad way to treat a girl.I’ve always dreamed of meeting ‘the one’, I’ve been lonely/wishing for so long. It’s very hard for me to meet people where I live as I have very ‘different’ interests, hobbies and commitments etc. My luck has ironically come true, but my wish for ‘the one’ has brought me 2! And ironically their both lovely girls/I like them both!‘Girl 1’ is amazing! We have EVERYTHING in common, it’s almost freaky! We share the same interests, culture/background – everything! She’s kind, caring and beautiful. However she is very shy and slightly to relaxed (lacks excitement) in my opinion. We’re meeting up this week for the day, so I guess you could call it a date.‘Girl 2’ I met this weekend. She has the same job/status as me, she’s also very confident/upfront like me and can read my like a book (her view of me was exactly correct!). We’re almost identical except in character, expect she is very arrogant. She’s not what I dreamed of like ‘Girl 1’, but yet she has something, like something in her character that ‘1’ doesn’t and I really like it.What I’m trying to say is, Girl 1 is my dream girl, and she’s perfect! Yet Girl 2 just has something about her that makes her so exciting? I want to block girl 2 out of my mind, cause girl 1 is the one I think love, but I can’t get girl 2 out of my mind. I feel really bad, as although I’m not going out with either/anyone, I feel like I’m cheating on girl 1 and taking advantage?It’s not just girl 2 that is my problem, there’s about three others that keep on asking to meet up or are flirting with me. It’s all so strange as I’ve gone from being ‘Mr. Never Has Interest’ to becoming spoilt for choice (although deep down I know only 1 or 2 would be right), and to be honest I’m lost. How do I stop all this? A part of me says Girl 1 is the one for me, what do you think?Also I don’t know what I’ve done to get all this attention, although that said I recently became a senior figure head/obtained a senior position and have had a lot of media attention due to this + my successes in my job has bought me many assets (as required) that gives the impression to people that I’m wealthy (which I’m not + materialistic things are meaningless to me).In conclusion the reason for me posting today is because I’m lost, and wonder if maybe I’m seeing the world through rose tainted glasses, I’d appreciate a second opinion....Do you think that this sudden attention/interest is linked to my recent successes? i.e. I’m attracting the wrong people because of itWhich girl should I peruse? Girl 1 who would be an ideal life partner and life would be as described on the tin (which was my dream). Or girl 2 who is like-minded gives me a thrill and is full of adventure/surprises?Any advice/opinions would be much appreciated, thanks for your time! :)
View related questions:
crush, flirt, never had a girlfriend, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kellogg2oo  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 Well frist of all you sound like a very nice guy, and its so romantic that you are waiting for 'the one', but honestly you need to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, or in your case your princess. People date becasue they are looking for things they think they would like in a life partner. For example you may think that you would like a exciting outgoing girl so you date one, but you find out that an outgoing girl might be too exciting for your lifestyle. So about girl one if have never dated you don't know what love feels like, so therefore you don't love her. You may be in love with the idea of her, but dont love her. Your young and new to the dating world so just go for it! Your young so have some fun while u still can. I'm not going to tell you what to do becasue you have to figurge this out by yourself, but I will tell you that your youth years are suposed to be fun and exciting not dull and safe those years are for when you old and worn out. Have fun while you still can. If girl two makes you feel nervous and excited and gives you butterflies in your stomach, who knows maybe she's the one. And also don't set your standers for the perfect girl too high because she may not be up to your standers right alway and in time could become the girl of your dreams, but you could just pass her by. I want you to follow your heart and don't worry girls need to kiss a few frogs before they find their prince too and you don't need to get married tommorow. If you date one of these girls for awhile, and i meant awhile, and you believe she is the one then hold on and never let go. Remember be yourself and have fun! :)
Your's Truly,
Kelloggs2oo :D
A
female
reader, Cami  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 I don’t have much experience, but I think you should listen to your heart. Girl 1 sounds like a nice girl, maybe you should try to get together more often, and you could be surprised by how fun she might be. At first, some people are kind of shy and don’t open up so easily. If she’s a good girl, she might be taking things slow, to test you and really get to know who you are before showing you her real self.
I think girl 2 is not as good as girl 1. Arrogance is one of the worst traits a person could have. I might be mistaken but the excitement you see in her might be just that she is more upfront. Does not sound like a girl to love.
Don’t pay much attention to those that are after you now that you have a better economic status. Be wise when choosing the girl of your dreams.
When you see them, each girl separately of course, try to figure out your feelings at that moment. If you feel super happy and time goes by fast when you’re with her, she’s probably the one. Also, your hands might sweat, and you’ll get really nervous.
Well, some people might not think that way, but I think the same symptoms are valid for both men and women. Hope this helps somehow. Wish you the best of lucks!!!
Follow your heart and your instincts!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, kitty-cat=] +, writes (28 June 2010):
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png) awww! you seem like a really sweet person. of coarse girls are going to like you! i think its too soon to tell. you should spend more time with one and see how you feel. personally, the first one sounds better. i mean you called her your "dream girl" "she is perfect". how many people can say they have someone like that? you just met girl 2, and you already think shes ignorant. once that beginning lust is gone, your not going to like her as much as you did. i know this is sappy, but go with your heart. imagine this, your thirty, had a bad day at work, kids are screaming and crying, and you need someone to tell you it's going to be okay, who do you want there? i really hope this helps you seem very nice :)
...............................
|
