A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up yesterday for about the third time. he said I am weird, random, he can't have a conversation with me, and he doesnt see himself with me. However, he did this twice before, and regretted it. The first time, he broke it off and the next day we got back together. 2 weeks ago when we broke up, he told me he was done, he couldnt do it anymore. We went without seeing each other for a week,however we had a vacation planned for the weekend and he ended up coming. He told me that he realized that time makes people realize how much someone means to them, and that without me, everything is wrong. He mentioned that I made him a better person, and made him change his old ways, which was going out drinking, meeting a girl, sleeping with her, and doing it all over again the next day. So we went away last weekend and had an amazing time, I felt as if we were the happiest couple on earth. He told me how much he loves me, how he cant be without me, we talked about moving in together for sure in September, and he said that I was the first girl who made him become someone better, he had no interest in going out and meeting others, that no1 will compare to me, and if he ever let me go, he will spend his life regretting it.I know we had our differences, but I was good to him and I love him more than anything. Last night he broke up with me over text message, and I drove to his job to talk to him at 12am. He looked miserable. Today i called crying, begging him to come back to me and he said he cant do this anymore that hes heard everything I said before but he admitted that I have been changing like I promised for the better. I just want to know what to do. With summer coming up,it will be hard for me. He lives in a party house, hes 25, and at the beach, and his friends are excited to have his single friend back. I did everything I could, every time he left me, I ran back to him, he knows I love him more than anything and he said I was the best girlfriend but not the best person to talk to. He wanted me to be his best friend. Please help me on what to do, I am hurting. I want to know what I can do to make him realize that I can be that person and to come back to my life? Nothing makes sense without him. I am lost.. I know that opposites attract, and that we need to be different to balance each other out, but how can i make him realize?
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, got back together, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): Hi, I am sorry this has happened and I know how you feel that very lost feeling is a tough thing to get through.
From the sounds of it I think this was inevitable, you probably are mostly bonded sexually and not mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, but the sexual connection is very strong so he keeps coming back and breaking up with you....The desire to love and be in love is there, but you and he are not yet fully developed people and fully know who you are....hence the reason he is so influenced by his single friends and still living in a party house at the age of 25 and the reason that your union is not based on a strong foundation.
I would let him go, let him live his own life, and you get on living yours....start focusing on you and what you want out of life, don't go rushing off trying to find another boyfriend, by all means go out on some dates, but stay single for awhile until you get your bearings back.
The feeling of being lost is not love, it is dependency and panic, and you will feel better about things if you cut contact with him and don't see him, your lost feelings will fade as you establish your own life again....and perhaps you have been distracting yourself from your purpose in life with this boy who is not really suited to you.....Take what you have learned about yourself and what kind of guy you like and what you didn't like and what didn't work for you with him, and chose a different yet similar guy next time....there is nothing wrong with sitting down and writing yourself a list of what you want in a man, and decide on three things that are your non negotiables, meaning if that guy doesn't posess those three qualities, then he is the wrong guy for you.
There is no such thing as a perfect guy for you, but if he is Mr. 80% of your list, then you have a good match.
Don't fret and allow yourself to wallow in self pity for more than a week, get outside, enjoy the sunshine, get back with your family and friends and resolve to have a wonderful summer as a single woman.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 March 2008):
 The best thing for you now is to do nothing but to do those
things that you like to do.Go connect back with your friends.
It is like flying a kite, you need to release more string for him to fly higher.
When the time comes , you will reel in the string...
Get a hold of yourself and take back control of your life.
...............................
|
