A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Where do the lines blur? If you are having just sex relationship and both sides are happy with it, really is just that. Meet up, have sex, then leave, very little talking. You move in the same circles see each other around at work. It's quite exciting, finding places to have sex in etc.. Apart from one mutual friend no one else knows this going on and has been for about 9 months. The guy told this mutual friend even thou they decided not to tell anyone, but he needed to talk to someone I guess. Then he told the girl that he said something to the mutual friend - very trustworthy older guy. Also they are both in different relationships. She is still living in the same house as her boyfriend, but it has been over for about a year - they don't sleep together, don't even kiss and hardly see each other. They have a child so live together for the sake of the child. However he will hopefully move out soon. The guy she is seeing is with his girlfriend, their relationship has been rocky, too many issues to go in to detail. This is true, not just what he said to her, he told his friends as well. He is not happy in the relationship, but stays with her as he is unsure what to do.Now recently the girl and a guy in the 'sex only' relationship started 'doing it' more often. He even came to her house when everyone was gone, still quite risky. They laugh and talk more. He started asking more personal questions like if she and the ex are still sleeping apart, saying it must be difficult sharing the same space etc. I know he has been hurt in the past, one girl broke his heart so he has issues with commitment. His current girlfriend loves him and does things for him, but he is not 'in love' with her, he moved in with her because she persuaded him it makes sense etc. - confirmed from other sources too.Now form a guy's point of view, do you think he is getting more interested in this girl? Is he unsure if the girl will leave her ex so doesn't want to make any moves so he doesn't get hurt? Is he falling for her? Is their relationship getting more serious? Is it even a relationship? She has a child so would this be no, no for him?The girl has never got overbearing or controlling they had an understanding not to interfere in each others lives, she likes her space so does he. They are very alike. The girl is happy to let it flow naturally, she also afraid of getting hurt. What should she do to let him know that it's ok to get close if he wants to. Baby steps IYKWIM. It feels like they both let their guard down from each other recently and it feels more natural and easy.What are your views? BTW she is over 30 and he is over 35.
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at work, her ex, moved in Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): the only thing that you should be concerned about is HE IS TAKEN , HE IS IN A PERMANENT/STABLE relationship. you are merely his F*ck buddy, nothing more , nothing less. stop making this sex session mean anything. it doesn't . the sooner you realise this the sooner you will realise that you mean nothing to him.
oh and by the way, HE IS HAVING SEX with his partner. don't think so highly of yourself that you think you are his only bed mate.
you make this situation sound so cryptic. it is only sordid, with you are the main roleplayer, who cares nothing of what she is putting her lovers girlfriend through. you will learn the hard way, don't take my word for it. time will tell, it always does.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): It's a real and healthy relationship when both parties consider it exclusive and introduce each other as BF and GF.
Anything less than this basically still amounts to casual sex no matter how you label it.
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