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*ris
writes: I still want to see him, I miss our sex. I left the relationship because I couldn't take hispossessive and controlling ways, plus on top of that verbal abuse whenever we fought. I can't but help miss him though, he wants me to come see him. He moved back home which is 250 miles from me. I would only be seeing him because I miss the sex we had and his freindship whenever we didn't fight.I am sure he would want things to lead into more, but for me it isn't what I want right now. My family was very happy when they seen he left, so I also have that to worry about, if I decided to visit him once in awhile. I don't know what to do. I am very happy with my life right now for the most part since he has left. But there are moments that I am sad that we ended, and I do miss him. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, becky05 +, writes (7 August 2005):
Keep the good times as a fond memory and remember the bad times so that you never go back to this man.
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female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (6 August 2005):
Naturally there will be moments when you miss your ex. He was a huge piece of your life, for better or worse, for a period of time. Missing his friendship and companionship is perfectly natural, and you will take time to heal.
However, he is estranged for a very good reason. The relationship for whatever reason didn't work out. You may not realise this at this moment in time, but it has happened for a very good reason. Your ex was controlling and possessive whilst you were dating, and evidently he is still trying to exercise that power over you. Please do not allow this to happen anymore, for your own good.
It is often the behaviour of a controlling, possessive partner that leads that to causing conflict between their partner and their families. Your family care about you and your welfare, which is why they are so relieved that this man is out of your life. They can observe what has happened to you from outside the relationship, and the control that this man has wielded over you. We may not always like the advice that families give but there is a very good reason why they do it. And that is because they genuinely care for you and see when someone in your life is causing you pain. Though if you are hopelessly smitten with this bully, you need someone to point this out to you.
He is now 250 miles from you, keep it that way. You have made your decision, and though it is heartbreaking, do not give into his pressure. Do not have any contact with him. If he becomes persistent, change your phone number. You need to break away from his damaging influence and begin to live your life again.
Good Luck
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