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male
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anonymous
writes: Ill try to keep htis short but want to give the full story in hopes of the best answer. I met my X alomst 3 years ago and feel madly in love, we dated for 2 and a half years and had some problems (fights about me wanting to go out and her sayin no or one of us being to drunk ect) but were so extreamly in love and made a pile of memories and plans for the future together. Then she got pragenent and after a vary hard time decicded she was'nt ready to bring a baby in to the world just yet. Soon after the operaitosn htings went downhill , we felt so bad we couldent move on, we couldent tlak about it and things got worse, finally she brook up with me sayin we both wernt happy. She vary quicky hooked up with a new man, this killed me and i feel in to a sceen of drugs and booze and diry girls for a short time. I met my new gf 4 months ago, and we get along vary well, she loves me and we have great times together, but I am also have been tlakin to my X on and off for the last months, we tlak about what we had and lost and how happy we were and this and that, she still loves me and me her, but should i go back to her now that she has rookin it off with this new man she went to, in ways my heart says yes but my head says no, I dont want to hurt either and thy hate each other, if i leave my gf to go with the X and it doesent work out ive lost everything , but if i stay with her, will i always long for the chance to se if me and the X could ever get back the bliss we had, alos my X is a vary jelious person and hates the idea of me ever having been with other ppl, im scared that would be the downfall to us if we runited, her starting fights about who im with now, my current gf has a child from a relationship she had at a young age, and has a questionable past of sorts, but you cant beleave all you hear so how do i really know - im torn and half to do something quick , i dont want to lead anyone on but i dont want to loose out on a life of happyness and love. - sorry for my spelling
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reader, DannySanto +, writes (5 September 2006):
 It tends to be the case that relationships are only good in the first few months or year. But that shouldnt be the case, if both parties truly love eachother, everything shouldnt end in an arguement. so it was probably for good reason that you and your ex split up. especially if the arguements are about jealousy. a relationship is about give and take and although jealousy is good in a sense..too much jealousy is totally out of the question. You'e found yourself in a very troubling position as it may affect the rest of your life. You say that when you talked to your ex you talked about how happy you were together and how in love, and the fact that your willing to leave your current girlfriend at the click of the fingers of your ex shows that you dont like her very much. An abortion can put enornmous strain on a relationship, and its possible that as a reseult of the abortion, the both of you felt too emotionally drained to fulfill what each of you wanted from eachother, which may have been why you felt unhappy in the end. I think that you should get back together. BUT (and this is a big but), you both have to work on your communication skills. You should learn to TALK about your feelings. If you do decide to get back together, make sure you talk about the abortion so that it isnt a taboo subject, make sure she knows how you felt about it. But a major thing to talk about is her jealousy issues, she may have been feeling insecure in the relationship, you have to reassure her verbally and emotionally, and also put your foot down to start with and say that you wont take her jealousy any longer, tell her how it makes you feel. Good luck with everything!
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