A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to know what people think are the signs of a cheating man. I am currently pregnant - about the half way mark...and the father of baby has been on and off with me for most of this pregnancy which I finally told him point blank am fed up of the wishy washy behaviour and either he mans up now or there is no point continuing on. Cos I did not let him into my flat when he showed up at my door - I told him he was not treating me right or making me feel special anymore...I was so angry at him that I gave him my middle finger in the heat of the moment. I am sick with Gardnerella Bacterial vaginalis I have been totally faithful to him so I am wondering whether I got this from him or not. Thankfully the meds are working on me...but its upset me a lot. A day later I saw him sat beside another uglier woman in a meeting I had to attend at work which my mother happened to be at. I got very upset cos he was very cosy with the other woman helping her out etc YET she has a partner is separating from and two teenage kids. She is 52, he is 49 and I am 28 - he is going on a strike to picket with her when the same day as the strike is my antenatal scan in the hospital which he was offered to go to but he declined. I was practically in tears and my own mother told me not to let any of this upset me. What has upset me is I rejected him the night before and sent him an email after saying I cant be with someone who turns up at my door drunk and leaving me to manage with all of the health probs alone. I broke up with him cos I felt he was using me cos I have a nice flat, the sex is good between us when we do have it and its near work so he doesnt have to pay commuting charges. He lives far away. Plus I cook and he likes my cooking so I said I am not your mother I cant do this. I have enough to worry about here. I am trying not to give birth prematurely. I told him to his face. The next day he is wrecking a marriage I guess...and doing it in front of me...KNOWING that I was sick and trying not to go into labour. When I came out of the meeting I still managed not to react but I wanted to sob...he was there lingering in the hallway but I just ignored him and walked past him as if he didnt exist whilst managing to still amazingly keep my composure. My question is two-fold: can you get gardnerella from your partner if they were unfaithful? or is it just a hormone imbalance from pregnancy?? Secondly, is he more into her then me??? why is he treating her better then me if he knows I am having his child??? He made me sign a receipt when I got stuck for cash for food for 100e. I told him I felt so belittled but now that I have scraped 100 quid together am going to make him sign the receipt and tell him to stay the hell away from me...how can I ever talk to him after him being so disrespectful. AND why would he even dare be so crappy to me if he is trying to get back with me???? why would he make me think he is already dating again so soon. NOT one day had passed from this breakup and he is out gallivanting with another woman?? why..cos I wouldnt have sex with him. I wouldnt have sex with him cos I wonder if he gave me this infection :-(((((((( what do others think here??? and what would you do???
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Gardnerella Bacterial Vaginalis can develop naturally.
Gardnerella is not an STD it is simply just a bacterial infection. Yet it can be giving to guys if not using a condom. Both people need to be treated or it could be passed from one person to another and be contracted again. It can be just an infection but also if it goes untreated for a long period of time it can lead to infertility in women.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks hun...I think staying away from him now won't be a problem but I am just simply trying not to let it get to me. I am also trying to make sense of his actions. Why on earth would he even want me to think he was doing a line with this other lady so soon after our breakup?? I think the B.V prob just developed from pregnancy but like you say we can never really know for sure..thanks for all the info anyway..xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): You sound overwrought... And hormonal :) I'm glad you have someone support you - your mom. Stay away from him for a few days. You need your sanity and grounding back. Having said that, here is some information about BV. I got it from googleBacterial vaginosis, also called BV, is the most common vaginal infection in women of childbearing age. It happens when the normal balance of bacteria in the vagina is disrupted and replaced by an overgrowth of certain bacteria called Gardnerella.The vagina normally contains mostly ?good? bacteria, and fewer ?harmful? bacteria. Bacterial vaginosis develops when there is an increase in ?harmful? bacteria and fewer ?good? bacteria. What causes bacterial vaginosis? The cause of bacterial vaginosis is not understood. It can develop when something, like sexual contact, disrupts the balance between the good bacteria that protect the vagina from infection and the harmful bacteria that don't. It is not clear what role sexual activity plays in the development of bacterial vaginosis, but bacterial vaginosis is more common among women who have had vaginal sex. But bacterial vaginosis is not always from sexual contact. We do know that certain things can upset the normal balance of bacteria in the vagina and put you more at risk for bacterial vaginosis: •Having a new sex partner or multiple sex partners•Douching•Using an intrauterine device (IUD) for birth control•Not using a condomWe also know that you do not get bacterial vaginosis from toilet seats, bedding, swimming pools, or from touching objects around you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSadly, he has been like this and I have no idea why. I think cos I rejected him - his ego was very sore and so to get me back he started dating her the next day right under my nose. I was trying not to cry as my mum sat beside me but my mum knew...I cant hide my emotions on my face as much as I try to. So my mum sat there evily staring at them both while I felt even more sick. He got an email from me before the meeting stating how I am very ill and trying not to give birth as if I give birth now the baby cant survive as its lungs are not mature enough yet to survive a birth..so its not like he didnt know what my problem was. I mean why did he do that a day later after the breakup if in his heart he is trying to get back with me?? makes no sense...and if anything it has put me off him more...what is his prob?? and I still wonder if he gave me this or did the pregnancy bring on this bad bacteria...
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