A
female
age
36-40,
*ianna
writes:Hi, I found out that my ex-bf has been two-timing me throughout the 3mths29days that we've been together. He has another long time gf of 17mths. This secret of his was exposed on the day when I happen to be in the same place as that couple. 3 of us quarreled and he kept telling the girl he loves her and wants to be with her and he's very sorry. He totally ignored me and i was left to feel sorry for myself alone. Worse still, he told me straight in my face that "yes, I was two-timing u.So can u leave now". It hurts so much.During the 3mths+ period, we did all sorts of couple things and he was nice to me as a bf. Assuring me of his love and says he misses me which totally sounded like he meant it. Because i'm someone who gets paranoid rather easily, he said things like "I don't hook up. I do couple-ly things with my gf only, and that's u". That is y i trusted him, even after i found suspicious things in his room, like hairband and a picture and letter from his most recent "ex"(his 17mths still ongoing long time gf). I told him just admit if he is really cheating but he chose to lie and gave acceptable reasons for the things i found. He told me this "ex" lasted 5mths and she still kept pestering him with messages and calls. She also kept threatening him with suicidal intentions. He told me he has been ignoring him until one day she stop bothering him. I can't believe he said such things about her. And i can't believe he lied to me w/o battering an eyelid. On the first day after secret was exposed and i broke up with him, he said all he wants to say was a deep sorry. On the 2nd day after secret was exposed, I called to ask him if there was any moment when we were together, that he meant it when he say "i love u", or had true feelings for me for even a moment, he told me, "i really don't know". I said even a no answer won't hurt me, he still said the same reply.I can never be with a man who cheats on me, even just once. I know i deserve better that's y i left him. Whereas she chose to stay with him, again, despite this not being the first time he cheats. According to her and to my astonishment, there were many girls before me during their 17mths tog. All i want to ask u is, do u think he has ever truly love me once? Or was i just a plaything/object in his eyes all the while?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dianna +, writes (14 October 2009):
Dianna is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all who helped me. Though its a short 4mths, I had placed total trust on him. Thus this is a great deal of shock to me. I will plucker up and move on. Thks.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 If he loved you he would be with you. He felt lust for you but never love. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, chin up and move on to those greener pastures. You'll be just fine.
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (13 October 2009):
 Well sounds like hes a worthless lying jerk so you should just move on and forget about him! I dont think he loved you...i think he loves his girlfriend but gets bored and goes for other girls, and you were just a part of his sick game! If you wouldnt have said that hes been with alot of different girls then i would have thought maybe he started developing feelings for you but even then i wouldnt think it was love! There are plenty of nice guys out there dont stress about this one, not all guys are like him! You just need to move on hun! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): no, he never loved you if he was cheating this early on in your relationship. Just going to have to suck it up as a bad choice and move on from him. only 4mths so you barely knew each other!
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