A
male
,
*reama
writes: A few months ago a girl at work and I slept together.. this has grown into a some sorta relationship and we go out together as much as possible. she is married, 2 kids... She has recently filed for a divorce and has told me she did that because she wants me. People were surprised that her marriage lasted as long as it did anyway. Do I believe she left a marriage for me? I have fallen in love with her and I know this is all wrong to begin with but do I continue seeing her or will I be hurt in the end? thanks for any advice- dumb luv
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2006): I really don't agree with Jadzia. The situation her is that this woman wasn't happy in her marriage, and you might have given her the strenght to take a step forward and do something about it instead of keeping on wasting her life. It's not cowardness, I believe that it is the other way round. For a person to leave a marriage is not easy, even if the relationship is not going on well. I'm sure she is seeing you as her strenght in your life. i would suggest you give her some space, and don't jump into marriage before you know her very well and there's deep love for each other. Moreover, make sure you keep it professional at work and you frequently speak with her and show your feelings about the situation you're in.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, wishes +, writes (8 May 2006):
My husband was in another relationship and had three children when we met. They were only together for the kids and neither of them loved each other. I gave him the chance to be happy again and he took it. It was the excuse that he was after for years but it didnt take away how much he did, and still does, love me. It doesnt mean that if he had met someone else he would have left his partner for that other person. But he just couldnt stand not being with me because of the connection we had. I think the same is in your case. Good luck with it! (Oh, by the way, we are now married and having a baby in 6 weeks!)
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (8 May 2006):
You cannot tell at this stage what the answer is. Maybe she did leave for you, maybe the marriage just hadn't been working. Clearly if her marriage had been great then she wouldn't have started anything with you in the first place but that doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't have feelings for you that could develop into a serious relationship. Remember divorce is traumatic sometimes, and if there are children involved it is wise to give her some space to adjust to the new situation (and her children of course). If it was mean't to be, then you will continue to see each other. Just be careful!
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127 +, writes (8 May 2006):
To leave a marriage even a bad one for another relationship is a very cowardly act and often is repeated.
Be cautious, for even if this works out, you will have major problems with other acts of cowardliness by this individual.
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