A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend just broke up with me after 8 yrs and met a guy on Match.com 7 weeks ago and says she is very happy. Did she cheat?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): Check your mailbox...YOU'VE GOT MAIL!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): Be sure to check your mailbox...you have a reply from me!
I hope you're doing better! You sound as though you are. It starts with baby-steps. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other!
Britt
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer. Mental Health in affairs of the heart with emotion are so hard, but you are right. She will miss me so much. I loved her with all my heart. I couldn';t stop prostate cancer.It came and left. I am healthy now. She should have stuck with me. I am a good honest man with devotion, kindness and a deep love for her. She will be sorry, Maybe not. She told me she is very happy and happy with her choice on Match.com, after 8 years, 7 weeks later she is very happy. What was the 8 yrs nothing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): if you click on my screne name, you will go to my profile and column...there is a link there to send me a private message. I do not give out my personal email address to everyone to see, but we can correspond privately on through my mailbox on this site.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBritt 429, Thank you so much, just send me you regular email address.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): Yes you will! Positive thinking!
If you need some moral support, feel free to send me a private msg. I will be glad to help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBritt 429, I am sorry for your hard life, but your advice was so good and I am so glad you are in the place you deserve to be. I will get there too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Thank you for the compliment. Although my situation was different...the coping skills I picked up along the way fit many circumstances. I had to walk away after over 16 years of marriage. It was a sick and twisted lifestyle filled with abuse, and pain and inspite of all that...I loved the man I had married. I had to be strong because he wanted me back. I had to strengthen myself against him. It wasn't easy but I did it. And then God took care of the rest...he took my exhusband (at the age of 51) from the world, and allowed him to rest in peace. I am comforted knowing his torment is over now. There are times I think about the "old days" and grieve for what could have been. But I know I did the right thing, and my life is so much better now!
Yours will be too!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBritt 420 thank you so much for advice. You are very wise in affairs of the heart.I hope nothing like this ever happened to you.I really thank you for helping me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Plan your day in advance. Go to a movie (No Lovestories) Visit friends (single ones) Or you could rent some movies and just plan a relaxing day at home. Don't set yourself up to be a wreck! Stop telling yourself it's hard to cope! Tell yourself that YOU CAN DO THIS! Valantines Day is just another day for the card companies, florists, and candy manufacturers to make a killing. Continue giving yourself positive affirmations...this is not your fault, you are a good person, you deserve better...and you will find it.
My Heart goes out to you, and I truly wish you peace and happiness!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI never did anything to her. I just loved her with all my heart. She just was looking for someone younger and maybe sex, because the Prostate Cancer took a toll on me. I did nothing wrong. I am a good educated man who loved her with all my heart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am doing ok, I am following your wonderful advice. it is very tough. Weekends are toughfest. I am alone, but my story is on breakup in how do you cope. I know she is with other guy now and 8 years vanished in 1 week. But as my friends said if she picked this guy on match.com in early DEC and she lives in same town. She saw him earlier and she hatched, this plot. V Day is next week and I will be a wreck on Sat, any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009): Dear Original Poster...I am wondering how you are doing? How 'bout an update?
I hope you are feeling better about things!
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female
reader, 48years  +, writes (6 February 2009):
 How do you cope?
I think coping is very hard. If you can't stop thinking about her or imagining what she was doing while cheating, take it as a sign that you're healing.
Also, write everything down that's whirling around in your head. Get it on paper, and when she calls you again (I guarantee she will) don't answer.
Once a cheat, always a cheat.
One more thing to comfort you - the pool of available women is far larger for you as you get older than the pool of available men is for her... a 7 week relationship is just in the honeymoon period when everyone's on their best behavior... she'll be back.
BTW, you can win her back if you really want to. Your 8 years still pulls a lot of weight - did you do anything to piss her off, or did you two just get bored? Write about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much, your answer was terrific. Whole story is how do you cope question?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): You take life one day at a time. Or even an hour at a time in the beginning...you tell yourself, "I'm not going to think about her for the next hour" You could even start with 10 minutes! as you progress, you increase the time frame. Once you feel stronger, you wake up in the morning, and say "I'm not going to think about her today!" and so on and so forth. As time goes by, you see that you're not thinking about her that often anymore. I know I'm simplifying it to a degree, but it will help.
Some other helpful hints: Put all pictures of her out of sight! Don't listen to old songs that remind you of her. Or any sad songs. You probably should stay away from Country Music all together! LOL Same goes for movies. No Love Stories or "tear jerkers" Don't wollow in the pain. Give yourself positive affirmations...tell yourself that you deserve better. You are worthwhile and deserving of true love! Also remind yourself that living alone is not the same as living lonely...go out with friends...do something you've always wanted to do, but haven't.....
I can probably come up with a few more suggestions, but you get the idea! The power of positive thinking!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your help. How do I cope is the story. Your advice is great.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): I agree with DearCassie. I think you already know the answer to that. And at this point does it really matter? She has moved on either way. Try not to analyze and reanalyze the situation.
I am sorry you are hurting, but life must go on. Don't dwell on what she did or didn't do. Rebuild your own life and try to forget about her. And if she should realize in the future that she has made a mistake...tell her it's too late!
You deserve to be treated with respect, and consideration. You don't need deceitful people in your life.
I wish you luck and happiness!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much that was a nice answer
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