A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay. A year ago I ended a one year "situation" with a guy who was afraid of commitment. He was so hot and cold, I never knew if he was coming or going or staying...I had to pull the plug on it. If I didn't, chances are we will still be going to the back-and-forth today.Fastforward to now, against my better judgment, I ended up hooking up with a friend of the last 4 years on a casual but consistent basis right after the end of the "situation". We've been hooking up off and on for the last 7 or 8 months. I told myself that if it was going to be anything serious he would have said something by now...I'm not the type to make the first move and, like I said, I just ended a year-long "situation" and I'm not so eager to just jump into another "situation". I do, however, really want companionship (like, a "special friend": someone to hold my hand, have great intimacy, great conversation, but without the major strings) but my friend doesn't seem too interested in that. For example, I've recently moved three hours away from this friend and he calls and texts me saying how much he misses me and that he's thinking of me, etc, but it's usually just about sex and I'm getting annoyed...I told him that it's nearly a year later and we have to make a decision if we're gonna move forward as just friends or are we going to explore dating (I'm willing to travel the three hours because I have friends and relative in his area and vice versa). He will tell me he wants to be friends, but even in the most mundane of conversations, he ALWAYS brings up sex with me...It's really starting to irritate me that he doesn't get it. It makes me want to end the friendship.Should I end this friendship which I took too far anyways? It doesn't seem like we want the same thing and it's hard to get back to just being friends (esp. because the physical attraction is still there). What should I do? Did sex ruin my friendship of four years?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. I appreciate your insight.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (22 January 2010):
It sounds like sex killed it dead. If he only seems to want to talk about sex then that must be all he's after.
It sounds like you just want a boyfriend.
So you have to ask yourself, if you want bread, why are you hanging around in the milk isle?
If you want a boyfriend, why are you letting a casual friend with benefits hold you back?
Dump him, and go and find a boyfriend. There are lots of guys around that would love to have a girlfriend too.
Good Luck!! xx
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