A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A little over a year ago, I started a relationship with this guy who seemed too perfect for words. His last relationship before me ended about 4 months before we had started ours due to the fact that she had kissed another guy. At first, our relationship was going smoothly, but recently i've been encountering a lot of problems. When we would be lying in bed together late at night sleeping, his phone would ring (it would be her), and he'd always take the phone call away into another room or in the hallway, and he'd never once mention that he was with me. Also, when the two of them would be texting, I'd ask who he was talking to and he'd tell me "oh, it's just my brother.." (I know it's her because I'd see her name pop up before i even asked). Also, this past New Years Eve, i spent the celebration with him and his family, and at the stroke of midnight, he kissed me and then immediately ran off and told me he had to go make some phone calls. No biggie, right? Except when he told me he called 15 different people, I found out he was lying and only spoke to her. The most recent event was I was trying to be cute and surprise him while he was in the shower, and change the background on his phone to a picture of he and i, except when i went into his picture gallery on his phone, I found 2 dozen nude pictures of his ex on his phone.Now i've confronted him about everything, and his excuses have been nothing but lies. I've ended our relationship since then because i've felt he hasn't been coming clean about everything. The other night, he told that the reason all of this is happening is because he just doesn't want to 'let go' of her in his life... but in a 'friend' way, not in a 'lover' kind of way.Is it right to believe that he still has feelings for his ex and that he is just scrambling because he was caught, or do I believe he is being sincere when he says he loves me, and just slipped up a bunch of times?
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female
reader, everyones ex  +, writes (25 January 2009):
The thing you need to ask yourself is this-does he lie to you about any of his other friends,whether male or female isn't the issue. If he does then maybe he's just a habitual liar. If not then I'd have to say that there's something going on.
Us girls can be complete bitches to each other at times and whether she wants him back or not I'd have to say she's keeping him dangling on a string to boost her own ego.
As for the nude photos you need to tell him that if his heart is with you he should delete them.He needs to realise that the more devious he is the more you will think he has something to hide.If they are just friends then why can't he be up front,open and honest about her instead of lying. In the same respect,if he chooses to be open about her you must try to be level headed and cool about it.There will be times when it's gonna drive you crazy but hey hunny that's just the way it is.If you can't put up with it then it liiks like you're gonna have to walk away. Good luck x
A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (25 January 2009):
 He clearly got caught. Naked pictures of the ex on his phone? Please! One of two things is going on here... she's after him or he's after her. Splitting was the right thing to do, rather than being dragged down by all this. He has issues he needs to resolve. Best to let him do it... alone and without you. He can't play both sides here. IMO, he's either with you or with her. If you've expressed your side and said that you'd like him to be with you and he's "slipping", then he's not with you and moving on is the right way to go.
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