A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex have been talking again. We broke up over lockdown. I was mentally not there for her, so when we broke up, her male guy friend (married) who is 15 years older than her, started hinting and making moves. She has now revealed to me that she liked his company and they got on better than me and her however she doesn't love him and is not physically attracted nor can he satisfy her. But they didn't argue and he taught her life is more than arguments. She said she was extremely angry way he dealt with her, but he taught her a lesson. On top of that he paid for her and looked after her. I mean I can understand all that. She wrote me a letter of apology last year but u have been stubborn since. She hasn't stopped trying, and I still have strong feelings for her. My question is, is she even deluded? She didn't exactly come back to me until she found out I was moving on. Is that a red flag? Everything seems fine now but I just have this niggling thought in too soft. I'm 33, she's 27.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2023): Hi I would just like to say I think your ex is shallow and you should wipe her from your mind and move on. Which I know is easier said than done.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2023): There is no new girl. The ex is the only one in my life bless her
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 April 2023):
 Well, yeah she knew what she did was wrong (yet she still blamed you for the breakup, didn't she?)
And popping up with an "apology" when YOU moved on - or TRIED to move on. If you still have "strong feelings" for your ex, is that even fair to your new partner?
Also, do you think it's fair to keep in contact with the ex when dating someone new? Especially if you still have feelings?
Your ex sounds shallow. She let a man buy her. Quite literally. She wanted security but that is all she got from the other dude. So maybe she was hoping you were up for some NSA sex? Because she is bored with him (aside from his money).
Wish her well, and tell her you are going to block her and you want no further contact with her AS you have moved on.
Then you BLOCK and DELETE all contact info. If she sends another letter - RETURN it to the sender OR trash it without reading it.
You are COMPLICATING your life for HER - you are letting her live rent-free in your head. Don't do that. Focus on your new partner and YOUR life. Make it as best as you can.
And LEARN from the mistakes you made with her. Don't repeat the same behavior that you had with her. Be better and DO better.
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