A
female
age
30-35,
*maya153
writes:My boyfriend and I have gotten extremely close over the last 6 months or so. However, before that, we weren't so close - we only spoke every couple of days, whereas now we're inseparable. My boyfriend and I go to different universities, but in the same city. Around last April when my boyfriend and I weren't that close, I received a random Facebook friend request from a pretty girl who goes to his university and was Facebook friends with a couple of my boyfriends friends, but not him. I found this strange at the time, I mean she obviously had an idea of who my boyfriend was if she's in the same circle of friends as he is, but why would she add me when I've never met the girl in my life? I got the horrible suspicion that maybe he cheated on me with her, and she was trying to tell me something, but I put it out of my head until now. I know that now my boyfriend and I are very much in love and that he would never cheat on me now, but back then things were different and we both know it. The friend request is still there, I never accepted/rejected it, but I feel like this is eating away at me and I need to know if I should be worried in any way? What do you think I should do? Should I ask my boyfriend if he knows her (I don't want to come across too accusing though?) or should I message the girl and ask her why she friend requested me (but I don't want this getting back to my boyfriend or his friends either?) Please help me, what should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (3 January 2014):
 If this girl had something she really needed or wanted to tell you should she would have found another way to reach you long ago.
I think the nature of Facebook allows folks to add people they don't know as intimately or wouldn't approach directly. My husband doesn't have a Facebook account so some of his old high school friends have found mine and added me, and some of them I've never met or spoken to. Some of my friends' adult children have added me as well even though I hardly know them and probably wouldn't recognize them in the street.
You could accept the invitation without saying anything and see what, if anything, comes of it. I doubt very much anything will.
Without having more reason to suspect anything amiss I would not question your boyfriend about it either.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 January 2014):
There's not really any proof that he was cheating at all. I think it's more likely she wanted to add you because she knew your boyfriend, and perhaps you just appeared on one of her pages, so she tried to add you.
I'm not sure that there's enough information for you to go on here to be honest, and I also I wonder if someone he cheated with would add you as a friend.
Is there anything else that makes you suspicious?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): I don't think you can assume he cheated on you with her just because she friend requested you. For all you know, she could just be a close friend (as you stated she knows his friends also so they could all be good friends) and because you're his girlfriend, she wants to get to know you better and become friends with you.
Have some trust in your man. If there was any OTHER suspicious activity such as her messaging him late nights, or sending him texts or things like that, then yes, you can go ahead and talk to him. But if it's nothing like that, then I think she's just trying to be friendly.
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