A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi.Bear with me I feel you need to know all the details to make a judgement.5 weeks into my relationship I went out to a club/pub without my girlfriend, and this girl with a bf approached me to initiate conversation, I bluntly told her to f*** off as I was not interested my mate saw this and assures me it happened. Later on over the course of the night she approached me on the dance floor and started acting flirtatious even after I told her to go away. I again rejected her by grabbing my other mate and pushing him towards her. Her boyfriend then approached us and told us to go away when it was cleary her doing. About 1 hour later and about god knows how many shots I am completely oblivious as to what happened during the course of the night. I only remember going home and telling my girlfriend that this girl whom she knows of approached me multiple times even after me telling her to go away. My girlfriend being the type of girl she is signed onto facebook the next day and told her to leave me alone otherwise she will smash her (she is extremely possessive). A couple of days later this girl replied with unusual anger and confidence saying things like “he was the one hitting on me!!!! He said things like “no one’s around” and “where’s your boyfriend” things of this nature.” I was shocked, I told her it didn’t happen and that day asked my mates who said they didn’t see me say anything like that but told me I was begging people for drinks got kicked out and begged the bouncers to be let back in because I was so drunk. This led me to think, if I don’t remember those things how can I remember possibly saying things to this girl. 1 Month later (I’m not 100% this actually happened) one of the girls friends yelled something out to my girlfriend implying I hit on that girl, I continued denying it as I don’t know if it happened. I don’t want to look like I’m deceiving my girlfriend or a cheater because I’m not I will never cheat on her, I love her too much for that I’m going by what I remember and what my mates have told me and denying this ever happened. What do I do? Do I tell my girlfriend that I’m not clear on what happened that night which will end up in her believing the other girl and us losing all out trust and eventually destroying the relationship? Or do I just deny and continue telling her what I remember happened. I also do not want my girlfriend to bump into this girl and be hurt later on, I’m so confused, it has now been 5 months and nothing has happened but I do feel guilt as this may have happened. P.S I know that it will be extremely hard for my girlfriend to forgive me for this as she will believe I have lied about it the whole time.
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confidence, drunk, facebook, flirt Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): Your problem arises from your drinking. Had you not lost control of your drinking that night this problem would not exist. The way you describe your evening it seems to me that you have a drinking problem, not a relationship problem. Consider getting some counseling.
A
female
reader, VenaCava  +, writes (31 July 2010):
 I would suggest you to tell your girlfriend as honest as you can about what you can remember, even the blurry part, and the “not so sure” part. Don’t let what people told you confuse your mind. You were drunk at that time, so you can’t be 100% accountable, but your girlfriend is asking you. So she wants to hear, to see, to feel what really happened at that time through your eyes.I have to be honest that this whole lot thing is kinda immature and it won’t be good for your future relationship with your GF if it continues. Ask your GF to cut any contact with the other girl and her horde of cliques. Blocked her, ignore her; anything, just do reply at all. Be the ones that act SANE.Forget this thing and the silly flirty girl; imagine that she has absolutely nothing to do with you and your GF. Word of the wise; don’t drink so much especially if you are outside with your GF. You are her only protector, what if something happen? Like you guys got mugged, attacked, hit by a drunk driver? Your reflex will be too slow to help her. That is not good man.Have fun, drink but stop when you feel like you can’t be her protector anymore.
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