A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just come out of a long term relationship and have a son but have just started looking at dating, so to play it safe I went on a date with someone I have known a long time (but wasn't close too) we went out had a great time he paid me lots of compliments was very sweet etc... We called back at my place for a coffee and things got a little physical ( I only invited him back because I already knew him)but we didn't sleep together and he went home , he text me to say he was back ok and we have text a lot since but all of a sudden he stopped replying ??? I haven't text since wednesday when I asked if he wanted to do something on saturday ( as my parents were having my son ) but no response! Have I gone overboard with the messages? Should I just leave it or try another follow up message? How can I get his interest again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): Ok so I've spoken to a mutual friend and they told me he is fine , he said he had a really good time and could see it going somewhere but didn't think I wanted a relationship since i've just come out of one but really likes me and this is why he hasn't replied, why are men so wierd ??? What should I do now?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 I'd just stop texting and leave the next step to him. Maybe something happened to his phone or he's been too busy to reply. Let him have some air and space, keep yourself busy and be bright and cheerful when he contacts you again. If you are likely to run into each other again, I would imagine he'll contact you before too long.
The thing to keep in mind is that it was just a date and if you can manage to remember that at this point, don't take anything personally. I know, that sounds counterintuitive, but if he's uncertain about where things are going, and he's taking a breather, you coming on with too many messages will make him think, 'whoa, she's awfully needy' and *poof* he'll be gone.
My now-husband used to do this to me and it drove me nearly crazy. I snapped out of it and read "A Fine Romance" - Judith Sills PhD, and that kept me on track and not making any well-intentioned but mistimed moves.
Stay calm, stay bright and stay upbeat. You want to be perceived as an independent person who has a busy life and lots of self-confidence.
Personally, when he does get back in contact, I would make him wait a day before I replied. And I would take very good care not to let any anger or resentment slip into my reply to him. Happy, peppy, no worries--that's what you want to get across. You also don't want to seem too available.
And I hope you have not been discussing your ex with him. If you have, stop instantly. Look forward, not back.
Hope this helps, and keep us posted when he does get in touch.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (25 July 2009):
 maybe something has happened to him thats why he hasnt called or msged you.have you a mutual friend you share who can check up and see if he's ok?its rather strange to be texting one minute then off key the next.good luck!
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