A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My partner for three years and 2 children has told me he has had an affair with a co worker more emotional than sexual ,it was coming that way so he finished with her.It lasted a couple of months and the reason he says he told me because I was driving him mad with rows and silences. He said he felt I had to know what was was happening between us before it got worse. I am devastated with this. It seems its all my fault. Aunts please help
View related questions:
affair, co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): have you noticed how people when confessing shift the blame tot he innocent partner and then the innocent partner feels so guilty about "the affair that they caused". this is the sick explanation cheating partners give. it is called bullshit.
there was a posting a while back that asked - who feels more guilty/hurt , the one having the affair or the one finding out about it. in your case he has made you the issue and he blames you. how? did you force him to have sex with someone else. so your nagging pushed in in the other woman's direction. SHAME!
so your bickering forced him to mess around. SHAME.
Soon he will also blame you for his existence. SHAME!
Cheaters are manipulators, they lie, they blame shift, they are so conniving and so convincing. your husband just did this to you. and now you have all the misgivings, you nagged him into the arma of another woman. what rubbish.
perhaps next time you argu/fight you should run off with his best friend and then shift blame and tell him HE forced you to do it.
you should remind him about actions and consequences- he betrayed you, your marriage , your lives together. HE should accept the blame and not shift it to you. HE made the mistakes with her. you didn't. utter, utter, rubbish from him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Well there is two ways you could see this. Firstly, it would have been better that he worked on his marriage problems before getting involved (emotionally or otherwise) with another woman - because now things could be worse. Secondly and alternatively at least he has told you and in some ways it is like a cry for help. I'm not sure where you go from here but you could try counselling or you could try getting some space from one another which would allow you to consider many things about your relationship. It sounds a little like he wants things to work - its a lot to throw away. I would give yourselves some time to digest this latest revelation and see how you both want to move forward. Don't rush anything one way or the other.
...............................
|
