A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think I pushed my "guy friend" away.About a week ago this guy that I have been friends with for 6 months finally admitted he was attracted to me. Since I've known him I have always been attracted to him and wanted to take it to the next level. And he knew this. I have told him in the past. And he always turned me down. Saying he just wanted to be friends. Then we kind of lost contact for a month or so but finally hung out again about a week ago. Before we used to hang out all the time and it was normal for us to hug and cuddle and hold each other in our past friendship. There was definitely a physical connection and attraction there that we never acted on. Well finally last week he admitted he was attracted to me bit didn't want to hurt me. So I kind of just blew it off but later in the night we started making out. That happened on a Wednesday. Then this past weekend he had a party both Friday and Saturday night and invited me to both. Both time we wound up having multiple intense make out sessions but did not have sex. We were drinking and now I wonder if he was just using me. I have texted him and he barely answers me and his responses are short. What did I do wrong? Am I coming on too strong? Was he just using me and because we didn't have sex he is just going to move on? Did I screw it all up with him? How do I get things back on track? Please help!!! By the way I am 9 yrs older than him. He is happy living the single life. And I'm not looking for a relationship with him but I do want to bring it to the next level with him. And before everyone says the alcohol made a difference keep in mind there has always been that unspoken physical attraction between us which we didn't act upon until recently.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 September 2012):
 You did nothing wrong.
He is not that into you but if sex came up he'd not turn you down.
There is no getting things "back on track" as they never were on a track....
he's happy being single
he TOLD you he doesn't want to hurt you... (that means he wants to sleep with you without the benefits of a relationship)
and this is why men and women who are single cannot be friends.
YOU want more.
HE does not
you will read into every little thing he says and does.
his actions now tell you exactly where you stand with him which is NOWHERE
IF you let him sleep with you... it will NOT change how he feels... it just will change how YOU feel and you will care more and you will GET HURT....
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (18 September 2012):
"He is happy living the single life. And I'm not looking for a relationship with him but I do want to bring it to the next level with him."
That makes no sense...you know he's happy being single, you don't want a relationship but you want to go to the "next level." What is the next level to you then? Because I'm pretty sure the next level would be a relationship.
"Did I screw it all up with him?"
No, you didn't do anything wrong. As you said, he's fine being single and you don't want a relationshp with him, so there's really nothing to screw up or care about. You were friends, he made out with you. It is what it is. Better than having sex with him and then feeling like crap when he's not being very responsive.
I think it's time to move on from this one, dear. He's physically attracted to you and yes, he would have sex with you, but he's probably not ready to "take it to the next level." Be his friend if you want to keep him around, but don't go any further because then you're definitely setting yourself up to get hurt.
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