A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear friends, I met that guy 6 monthhs ago through friends and we instantly became friends then developed a love relation, it was based on respect and honesty. He told me that he used to be a player in the past and I heard that from friends too. Based on my previous relations i decidedto take it slow, date and get to know him then we'll see how things will develop. Since he's a well known figure in town his social life is very jammed. We're always with friends , women surround him and I was fine with it cause hes very popular with lots of friends. Until few days ago, the entire group went to the movies then a girl I never seen before joined us and he was chit-chatting with her a bit. 2 days later I joined the group to a dinner and I sat opposite of him, I realised that there was an empty chair between him and the friend sitting next. So I was wondering who's he's booking the chair for and that girl showed up!!! He didn't flirt with her but the idea bothered me somehow cause a minute before I joined dinner he was telling me that he misses me like crazy. And I was civilised didn't show my anger, he felt that I wasn't myself and asked me several times why am I calm this evening, I felt that he felt. Fast forward we left the restaurant and unlike everytime I didn't hug and kiss him, I just waved goodbye with a smile. The next day he sent me a text asking if we can have dinner just the 2 of us and I replied: hello dear sorry I have plans, enjoy ur evening xx. Dear aunts did I over analyse? Why did I feel a striking discomfort? Knowing that the girl is nothing special looks and personality wise. Should I just walk out of whatever is beetween us ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for ur replies.. No she's neither a relative nor an old friend.. I didn't mentiion it to him at all.. Gave him the cold shoulder but was very polite for few days. Yesterday he was texting me a lot and he didn't even talk abt the subject which raised my doubts even higher. At some point he said: baby don't hate me.. I can never live with ur hatred. I replied: :) why would I hate u..we're good friends and I hope our friendship lasts long. He sent a sad face.
Whether he's with that girl or not, sth wrong happened that night and I was bothered, he knew and he tried for few days to see why I was cold. But he didn't talk directly abt it. A woman's heart is rarely wrong.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (15 December 2012):
Could she have been a relative or an old friend?
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A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire  +, writes (14 December 2012):
 I believe the fact that hes told you that he was a player previously may of caused your discomfort.
I think you may be subconsiously more wary of him with other women, regardless of if they're attractive or not, which is understandable, seeing as he has a history.
From what you've said i don't see how his behaviour is anything out of the ordinary, they could genuinely just be friends.
I don't think you have anything to worry about since you state he wasn't flirting, but i always believe you should trust your instinct, so ultimately it is up to you to take the chance on letting your guard down and to work on your relationship.
Best of luck
X
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