A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I find myself in a bit of a jam. I have been dating my man for some time now. We have had threesomes in the past, however I do not want to do that anymore and I want to be in a committed relationship with him. A.K.A. monogamous. Thing is he knows that I would not like to share him once we're committed. And he says he is not ready for a committed relationship with me. Have I jinxed my relationship by allowing for these threesomes to happen prior to a committed relationship? I always thought that until your actually committed that its mostly fun and games. But once you decide to commit, all the games go away. I feel that now he will never commit just because of this fact even though he says that is not the reason. Do I still date him and wait for him to be ready to commit or move on? Thanks in advance
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 April 2010):
Sorry but he's had his fun and wants to move on. Best to let him go and move on.
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (27 April 2010):
Yes there is no future for the two of you and that is the problem with 3 or more in a bed. You cannot turn the clock back. You reap what you sew, I fear you need to move on?
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (27 April 2010):
 All I can tell you is from my own experience. And that would be 180 deg. from what you describe.
After 20 years, ya, I might imagine opening things up to 'fun and games', after a great many years of having established a relationship, committment, and comfort with each other. If you know that you're genuinely committed, that being with someone else is just an experiment for fun, but that it means nothing but a sensual experience.
But before committment? No way. I think you're quite right -- he's had his fun and he's not going to commit. Sorry, but it's time to move on.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (27 April 2010):
I doubt that his hesitation to commit to you is due to the threesomes. What may be troubling him is your belief that all the fun stops when you commit. Where did this belief come from? The fun should never stop, but that doesn't mean you still need to do threesomes!
You need to move on and NOT wait for this guy- there are plenty of great guys out there, go find one!
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