A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really really like this boy, and have done for years. He recently confessed he liked me too. We aren't going out with each other just yet but he asked me if i wanted to have sex with him, and i want to but i don't know if i should. I told him i didn't know if i should and he didn't seem that bothered but he hasn't really replied to any of my texts since. I'm worried i've offended him, because i do want to i just don't know if i should.Can anyone help? What should i say to him, or do?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (17 April 2009):
Sweetheart this is what happened.
He decided he wanted to have sex. He knew you liked him so thought you might have sex with him without him having to put any effort in.
So he says "guess what! I like you too. Will you have sex with me now?"
You say "no because I am not an idiot, I will not have underage sex, I will not have sex with you until we have been going out for a long time, until I trust you, until we have built up to it and done loads of other stuff first and you know how to please me."
And he thinks... "oh, well I just wanted to have sex so I could brag about it to my mates. I don't ACTUALLY like her, I just thought she'd be easy."
So he stops texting you.
ANY boy who asks you to have sex with him within the first few days of asking you out is OBVIOUSLY going to just use you for sex and then dump you.
Have some self respect and some high standards. The boy you have sex with the first time should be really special. He should love you and respect you and want to be with you because he loves you, not just because you might have sex with him.
What you should do now is be grateful you have found out this boy is a sad loser, and ignore him from now on. He is not even worthy of speaking to you and you deserve so much better than him.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): First be proud of yourself for saying no. Then be happy he doesn't talk to you. A great way of finding the worth of a friendship is to withhold sex acts and see the reaction. To lose a boy's attention for denying him sex is a great achievement because you've knocked out a shallow person from your pool of associations. Good job!Did you offend him? It doesn't matter!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): Well, i think you should go out with someone first and date them and get to know them before you have sex with them. But that's just me. Apparently a lot of the world disagrees with me.I also think you should be looking for someone special to do it with, not someone that won't answer your texts when they don't get their way.So basically, I don't approve. But you will do what you do, regardless.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): like a large percentage of the male population, he just wanted you for sex, simple. sorry it sounds harsh but thats probably all he was after, and in any case you shouldn't even be considering it noting your age. save it for someone special who you love not some pubescent teen, its really not worth it considering all the risks involved STD's, STI's, pregnancy... find someone who actually wants to get to known you and spend time with you as opposed to some oik, take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): Well I think he's made it pretty clear he only wanted one thing. And no you shouldn't sleep with him now, even if you want to. He probably knew you liked him and was playing on that. I don't think the feeling is mutual. If he liked you for who you are he would still make it clear he's interested. i.e reply to your texts and make an effort to see you. The VERY unlikely other option is that he's just been busy lately. But like I said, unlikely!Find someone that will like you for who you are and won't just want you for sex. :)
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A
female
reader, danibabe +, writes (17 April 2009):
I'd say leave him to it sweet. If he expects you to have sex with him when your not in a relationship, and you say no, and he goes funny with you, it seems to me he just wants sex. If he respects you and does like you, he'll accept the fact that your not sure about sex yet and he will wait. Dont just go and have sex with him to make him talk to you, because he mite hurt you even more when he doesn't reply afterwards. hope i helped x
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