A
male
age
36-40,
*weet_Child_Of_Mine
writes:Did I offend her?I'm originally from Pakistan and studying at a university in London. There I befriended a Lebanese girl. We became really good friends. We hung out and did all kinds of stuff together. She usually interacted with other girls and I was one of the few male friends she had. Everything seemed to be great until few days back when she asked me what type of girl I would prefer as my life partner. I hadn't really put much thought into it so I merely replied: "She should be a Pakistani". Apparently, she didn't take that very well. She didn't say anything but, I could tell from her facial expressions. I immediately changed the subject. But, the next day she seemed a bit distant. She spent more time with her female friends and she would only talk to me when I would start a conversation. Today, I asked her if she wanted to hang out or something but she said she was busy with the coursework. Actually, we do have loads of assignments to do. But, i still felt she was trying to make an excuse. Did I really offend her?. I miss hanging out with her and really want to have that special relationship with her like before. I can't even often focus on my studies as I keep thinking about whether I offended her or not.
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (26 October 2013):
 She was wanting to hear you describe her as your ideal partner. Not someone else. She clearly likes you. I don't think you offended her so much as made her realize or think she doesn't have a shot with you. Which upset her.
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (26 October 2013):
 Aunty YouWish has said exactly what I was going too :)
You haven't offended her, I think she really liked you and probably hoped that you and her might become more than friends at some point and her hopes have been dashed.
She's probably embarrassed and a bit disappointed and is avoiding you to protect her feelings.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2013): It sounds like she has feelings for you and she was disappointed that there was no hope of being anything more than friends with you.
She is probably avoiding you to nurse her disappointment and to stop her feelings for you growing. When you spend time with someone your feelings for them grow, and she's smart to realise that she needs to back off so that things don't get awkward between you.
It's sad, but give her time and space.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 October 2013):
 No, you didn't offend her, but you rejected her outright when you answered that your life partner should be Pakistani.
She liked you as more than a friend. She was asking you the question about your type of girl because she was interested in you. When you answered that your ideal girl was something she'd never be, she is distancing herself to cut off her feelings for you.
If you do not consider her as more than merely a friend, your best act of kindness is to back off and let her be distant. However, if you're interested in her as more than a friend, you need to tell her that and quickly before she gets over you and finds someone else.
Do you understand what I'm saying to you? She *likes* you. Or...at least she did until your answer rejected her as a possible love interest.
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