A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I basically feel really lost right now and im not sure which direction to head in.I'm 16, moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago and i think we moved too quickly, although it does really work well and we dont argue, we get along just fine. The only issue i have is that its a lot more complicated here than it was at home, obviously. So I'm trying to find a job and starting college in September, but he's stressing out because he's the only one earning any money and were really skint. And that makes me feel bad but its hard for someone at my age to find a job especially with nothing on my CV and in these times! I am trying though. I feel quite stressed out here often and i feel quite depressed because he works ten hours every day for five days a week and im sat in this flat alone with nothing to do and dont have any friends here cos ive moved cities. A part of me wants to return home and live with my mum where it was easy again and sort my life and head out. But then i think it would be the same there because all my friends kinda disappeared when i dropped out of school in January, so the only difference would be my mum would be coming home to me isntead of my loving boyfriend. And i know i'd miss my boyfriend like crazy too! i cant function without him but its so much easier at home! and i feel so healthy there, here i just dont. So i really dont know what to do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Actually I'm still not sure if she's made a decision. Hmm. I didn't add this I forgot to, but another idea is having a long distance relationship if you move back to your mom, while you finish with school and what not so you may be able to acquire a job much quicker if you still do decide to move back. If you chose this it will still require you to be strong and you still may be frustrated but at the very least your health will be better. I'm sure he is quite worrying about you all the time so when you do make a decision, have a calm talk with him and explain the current situation with your future plans as well as his.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess ive always been afraid to step out and do things for myself, from quite a young age. I dont know if that has anything to do with my childhood. I just feel wrong being here and like if i did earn any money anyway i wouldnt want it to go on his bills and debts, id want it to go on clothes and good times. I feel like i have no life anymore, and i want it back! Im too young to be sitting waiting for him to come home everyday of my life and that being it! I cant handle having only two days a week of actually doing anything.. I feel like shit all the time, its really bringing me down.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): I would suggest sticking it out for a bit longer. You have only recently moved in with your boyfriend, so it will probably be really difficult at first. But with time, and as things progress, it might get easier.
If you was to move back in with your mom, you might regret it, and wish you could be back with your boyfriend. There will be more upheaval for you. So I think you need to be sure of what you want to do before moving again.
It sounds like you are already considering both options, and weighing up the pros and cons, which is great. Carry on doing that, and see if you can reach a decision. Maybe staying where you are right now is preferable, even if it is a bit difficult at the moment. Or maybe the benefits of moving back with your mom would outweigh the downsides.
So give this some more thought first before making another big decision. Good luck. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Hmm you may have indeed moved in too soon without fully understanding the situation but it's not too late to understand it now. Under these circumstances it is easy to see the situation you both are in. And I am sure you do love him. It is up to you to decide what you want to do.
It is going to be hard living with your bf but at least you are both trying to make it work and I think this is a very good sign of good things to come in the future. If you keep strong and trust in yourself then it can work. Being so young and having to step into the world already is hard but not impossible.
And well I don't need to talk about moving back with your mom. No one will blame you that much coz you are still young, except that you will be a alone, as well as your bf. But he will be able to manage income a little better, I'm not really sure.
So you have to choose, to stay or leave. If I knew you better I could decide if you were strong enough to handle staying then I'd say to stay. So I guess you have to ask yourself instead.
Good luck , let us know how it goes.
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