A
female
age
,
*erseyjan
writes:I need to put this all together so that you will be able to understand. I fell in love at 16 and got engaged at 18 my boyfriend went to service. I met a boy at work who I heard was crazy about me. He wanted to ask me out. I happened to know that he was seeing a girl already steady on and off. I had been at a party that the man I woked with and my finance' were at the same company party. My finance and I had a fight and I told him I wanted him to leave which at that time I started to walk over and talk to my co-worker. At that point my finance hit him.After that, at work I could't stop thinking about him and how much i wanted him to ask me out. This however, was 1960 and girls did not come on to boys. He used to ride by where he knew I went at night and pick me and we made out a few times, he asked me if I was afraid of my boyfriend. I said "No"Meanwhile I told friends that I liked him and I wanted him to ask me out. They told me his reply was Where would I take her.My finance was away in service at this time. Our company planned a picnic for just employees. I thought that this would be the time he would talk with me. However he was mad and wouldn't tell me why.I found out latter that he had asked other people if I had broken up with my finance and those who know my finance' said No we never did. Then I understood why he might have been mad. He also had a girlfriend younger than i but they were going steady. He did finally marry her.He has forgotten me and for the past 40 years I have never forgotten him.My question is why can't I forget about him? Is it because I like to torture myself or is it because I lost the one thing I loved. What could I have done different? It doesn't matter now too late for me but maybe not for other people in this situation.He got mad at me for about two weeks and then detached. Did I miss my boat why can't I forget him?
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female
reader, jerseyjan +, writes (24 May 2009):
jerseyjan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe first answer was exacatly how I felt at the time. I think that when you love two people at the same time you must choose.
What I didn't realize was that I still had another option and that was that maybe I didn't want to get married period.
Janet
A
female
reader, jerseyjan +, writes (16 March 2009):
jerseyjan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think both answers hit the head on the nail. I wanted him to tell me that he wanted me to break up with my finance and he would break up with his girlfriend.But he never spoke with me about it. If I knew for sure he cared about me I would have been with him. Only one thing I can say is that it is not the fact that I was embarassed, I was hurt that he never got the nerve to talk with me about it but went behind my back. Times were different then. If a girl was alone she had to find someone fast. We didn't have the independence that todays women have. And you are right I don't know that he doesn't think about me but I don't think men do that. They ususal move on, women have a much harder time, I think.we always wonder what if.I appreciate both of your answers and they both gave great insite into some of the problems we all have.The grass is always greener.Thankyou for your time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009): I moved accros the globe to live with my partner, the other guy I left behind was a friend but I think I might have been in love with him, I had to choose, I chose my husband, my friend got jealous and then moved on after 3 weeks. I miss him terribly but I understand he's hurting because he can't be with me so I have to accept we can't be friends either. You probably can't forget him, not because he's the only thing you loved but because he was the one that got away and he is your what - if. if you had chosen him you might now be having the same thoughts about the other guy you'd have left behind.Try not to be so harsh on yourself, life is full of twists and turns and some things are out of our control. I hope you find some closure herexx
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