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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 15 and I need to know what makes guys think a girl is a slut (I mean besides real obvious stuff like sleeping with everyone) Here's my situation. I love this guy and we are kind of friends and we've hung out a few times and he hasn't been with anyone in ages. It seems like he's finally liking me more than a friend at last. He came over and for the first time made moves on me and it led to more and I ended up letting him touch me and almost finger me. I didn't touch him like that and it was only for a few minutes. I am so scared he's gonna think I'm a slut, but I'm so crazy about him I couldn't help myself. I haven't really seen him since this happened (a few days) but he still smiles at me and stuff. I know next time not to let him do that, but how should I act now, should I say anything like thats not how I usually am or just act like I usually do with him? I have only had 2 boyfriends and I never acted like that before so soon, but I like him so much. I am scared that he will think I act that way with anyone but I don't Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (10 March 2006):
 wow, I forgot how little it takes to kill your confidence when you are so young!
Sweetie, you dont say how old you are so I will ahve a guess at middle teens.
No I dont think he thinks you are a slut. If you are so is he.
Please get it out of your head that sex is something a man/boy does to a girl/woman. It is something two people share together. Therefore if you are a slut so is he!
No you are not a slut for getting carried away in the heat of the moment. These things happen, jsut remember to play it safe next time and if it goes any further make sure he is the sort of lad that will respect you if you tell him to stop.
Enjoy, just be careful.xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2006): Regardless of what he thinks (more on his thoughts in a moment), you did nothing to deserve being thought of as a sl**. As to whether the boy thinks you are a sl**, many factors must be factored in. As I said earlier, you did nothing to deserve such a labeling, but for some people (male or female), it is almost impossible for them not to label others (it makes them feel superior, it is part of their culture, etc.). His behavior might be explained in many ways. Perhaps he's hoping to exert pressure over you so he can get you to go even farther next time he's with you. Perhaps he's uncertain of himself and doesn't know what he'd do if the opportunity to go further with you presented itself. As for how you should act, well, I would not just declare, "That's not going to happen next time." if I could avoid saying it. Rather, if I were you, I'd let my actions speak for me because this guy (like most guys) is going to see how far you'll go regardless of what you say or have said. Also, as to his thinking that you'll act that way with other guys, "Who knows?". Too many guys will think or believe anything. It is a confusing world, and perhaps if the opportunity presents itself again and you control your personal relationship with him, he'll come to realize (if he doesn't already) that in fact, you are, "not that way with anyone."
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