A
female
age
30-35,
*ishaps
writes:I recently broke up with my boyfriend after feeling as though I didn't care for him in the same way he cares for me, to the point where I began to feel guilty (as though I was almost stringing him along). This feeling only came about very recently. We'd been dating for about 4 months and he'd said he loved me very early on in the relationship, and continued to say things like that throughout. He'd even believed I was 'the one', and often said that I was the only good thing in his life.He took the break-up really hard, which made us both cry as I still do care about him a lot. He told me he loved me so much and that he thought everything was too good to be true, which makes me feel horrible and as though maybe I acted without properly thinking through everything.Did I make a rash, wrong decision because I felt too suffocated? Would it be too hard for him and am I too selfish to ask to be friends?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): Is it love or fall back you scheming?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): There's seems to be more here than your telling. You feel horrible aka guilty because in secret you misled him then bailed out? Do you want to be his friend because if he accepts your friendship it will erase your guilt? It looks like you want it both ways. You don't want him but you don't want anyone else to have him so you want to cock block to insure he doesn't stray while you look for a significant fellow? Sorry but it doesn't work that way! Stay away from the poor fellow. Sounds like you've already done a number on him and are out to do more. Your selfish for accommodating your needs at his expense. I wouldn't have a friend who used me like that!
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (13 February 2011):
"Did I make a rash, wrong decision because I felt too suffocated?"
How can we know if you did?
"Would it be too hard for him and am I too selfish to ask to be friends?"
It's already being hard, you told so. I think that asking him to be your friend is worst than breaking up with him. And yes, it's selfish because you have to deal with the break up just like him. You have to cut contact with him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): Put yourself in his shoes. How would you remaing around only to watch him love someone else if a girl came along and snatched his heart while he looked at you as a friend.
You said he took it hard well he's apparently going through the process or through it. Move on and let him give himself to finding a girl who will love him or be with a girl who loves him if he's found her.
Don't be selfish.
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