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female
age
51-59,
*onelyinlondon
writes: After being single for 5 years i thought i would give internet dating a shot, so a few months ago i signed up for a bbw dating site (as im a big girl myself i thought it best as i wouldnt have to explain about my size later on if i did meet someone)After a few days i spotted a rather handsome guy, my age group, and not that far from my home. I dont have much confidence in myself so took the easy way of breaking the ice and sent him a 'smile'. to my amazement he sent one straight back!So i paid my registration fee so i could email him, just a general email hi how are you? thanx for returning the smile etc. I got another reply back. Over a short period of time we exchanged emails through the site, just general really, but he started to call me his beautiful lady,adding kisses and saying he was thinking of me lots. oh i was smitten, so i took the plunge and sent an email saying i knew it was a long shot but did he fancy meeting up for a drink? movies? or something? i didnt get a reply for over a week, then i got one saying sorry took so long to reply he had been ill ( but i saw him logged onto the site during this time) but he would love to come and visit and do anything i wanted, but we needed to get to know each other a bit more first.I totally agreed and emailed him my msn and my mobile number explaining that my membership was due to expire and that i would be deleting my profile, he replied saying he would txt me that evening or the following day then i would have his number.That was over two weeks ago and I havent heard anything from him since. He told me his work load was very hectic and thats one of the reasons why he is single, but i have seen him online during this time. Now i feel totally embarrassed, i have made a fool of myself and i cant get out of my head why he said the things he did? have i been hasty deleting my profile? should i have given it more time? was he just being polite replying to my mail?any advice would be greatly appreciated
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confidence, msn, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2007): I'd put money on this guy already being in a relationship. So many people sign up to online dating agencies because they are bored in a relationship and want to feel some of those nice feelings when they start flirting and getting to know someone. You didn't make a fool of yourself, you were just unlucky this one time. Don't feel embarrassed, just put it down to experience and get looking at some new profiles.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2007): I agree with what "dragonette" says. You have to take action to let him know you are interested in him, though there is no response from him. I have been on a bbw dating site (largeplace.com) before and exeperienced the same as you. Although having no success in finding my match, I made some friends there. It is true that "you've got to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince". So don't give up there is someone special out there for you.
Wish you good luck!
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Hmm I think when he said he was ill but you saw him online that was just him playing hard to get. After all it's considered (i think wrongly) stupid to be too keen early on. It's possible that he's still playing hard to get or is just busy with work or maybe he's changed his mind and thinks it's going too fast. I'd give him some space for a while and see what happens and then if you still haven't heard anything in a month or so email him and tell him you're assuming he's not interested in pursuing the friendship so you're going on a date. Hopefully that will spur him into action, and if not at least you'll know where you stand. However for now give him the benefit of the doubt.
CD
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A
male
reader, Badger_Simon +, writes (14 January 2007):
 I know i'm a little young so feel free to disregard my advice but this seems a case of what if? Let's just pretend you saw this guy on the website but didn't build up the courage to email him, what would be going trough your head right now? would you be sitting at home wishing that you did email him? If the answer is yes then you truly did the right thing, you was brave and you took a risk, granted not all risks pay off, but you was brave to do so, you shouldn't beat yourself up, you should be proud of yourself. As for the guy's motives, maybe you will never know, and you shouldn't be dedicating a lot of your time thinking about it. He has your msn and phone number, the next move is up to him. In the mean-time this gives you a perfect oppurtunity to step back, re-evaluate and if neccesary move on, continue searching for mr right with even more confidence than before. I dont know how much help this will be so take it or leave it, that decision is yours.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Dear Lonely,
Maybe he was interested and then got cold feet. People who subscribe to dating sites are usually researching their options, which means that he might have had been talking to several interesting ladies, not just you.
Don't let this get you down. You were super brave to initiate contact with him. I'm sorry that it didn't work out, but it wasn't because you made a fool of yourself (you didn't do any such thing), it just happened to be that he lost interest. The next time you will do better. Besides, flirting on the internet is a great way to build confidence.
Also, finding a date on a dating site probably adheres to the old saying of "you've got to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince".
Good luck in finding the right guy!
/Dragonette
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