A
male
age
41-50,
*uperDan
writes:This girl I'm seeing has heard all kinds of bad things about me from my other friends, all things from my past, things that don't even pertain to her. Two of them being about my mother's true sexual orientation and the truth about how an ex-girlfriend of a few years back and I broke up. The problem is most of them are correct.She asks me if they're true or not and even though I prefer to keep them known only to my therapist, I feel obligated to tell her everything. The problem is that even though I've never given her reason to doubt me, I get the feeling she really doesn't trust me, and I feel like if I don't tell her, it would be like an admission of my guilt. It doesn't help that she's had a lot of problems in her life, and thus I tell her out of fear for being classified as one of the "idiots" in her life.Did I have to tell her like this, or could I have waited?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 September 2008):
You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
If you are that messed up that you are in therapy then she should be a bit more understanding.
Just tell her that you don't want to talk about it. If she doesn't accept that then at the moment when you are so fragile, she is not the girl for you.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (19 September 2008):
 I think, even though she's had problems in her own life, she really doesn't have the right to make you feel guilt just so you tell her your secrets. She should trust you without a doubt - as she has no reason to. I think you should talk to her and tell her what she makes you feel when she does this.
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