A
female
age
30-35,
*ura_zej
writes:Hi, me and my boyfriend (both 19) have been together nearly 5 years now, we're engaged and are usually fine but lately he's been talking and acting like he wants a different 'path of life' to go down. We're usually the typically 'cute couple' who love doing everything together and over 5 years i've got kind of used to that. Over the past few days hes taken interest into other things and being around different people which i fully supported at first because i thought i knew it wouldnt change anything much between us and what with us being students theres a world of different thing we could try and i want him to experience as much as he wants. But now i get to see him a few days a week and when we do talk its usually about him, i feel as if he's loosing interest in me now ive given him so much space to do his own thing - but i thought it was the right thing to do to be a good partner to him still? Have i driven him away and should let him go more so i dont have to worry about being left behind? Or should i ask him for some time back?For a first post this has been quite a rant! But thankyou for your time to read this. Im welcome to any comments, thankyou.
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female
reader, lura_zej +, writes (31 May 2009):
lura_zej is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou, i completely know where you're coming from! We always said we wern't sure on getting married- if so it wouldnt be for a long time! Yeah we both go to different Uni's too and im looking for a summer job. I know i was never going to see him every day - i wouldnt like that either i also have my own life! I'm learning to be there for him more as support than a 'girlfriend' which seems right to me at the moment, even though he's told me he doesn't think anythings changed? I think as long as i can be there to support him when he wants me to and i know he'd do the same for me we should drift to 'just friends' quite easily. Thankyou again for your reply :) x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Woah, so you have known each other since you were 14, and have gotten engaged at 19? That's pretty crazy. No wonder he is feeling a little trapped. I am guessing you are both each other's first relationship. 5 years is a long time for anybody, but for young kids it can feel even longer! I have to ask - what's the rush? Why do you need to get married now?Also, I am guessing you are at the age now when you are going off to college or starting jobs etc? Maybe your boyfriend is getting a little tired of the sameness and security of your relationship and wants to see what else is out there for him. And I can't blame him. The prospect of being with the same girl practically EVERY DAY since age fourteen is probably a little daunting. There is nothing you can do. Don't cling. Don't lose sight of who YOU are outside of the relationship. Sometimes relationships dissolve, it's the unhappy truth :(Try to be strong and keep in mind that the bulk of your life hasn't even happened yet!Good luck!
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