A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem that I created. About three years ago my wife and I was playing and I made her a profile on a dating web site. I wanted to show her she was still desirable and make her feel sexy again. I let her start playing on the site and it worked, we had sex every day for at least 6 months or more. During that time I also let her go on a date with a younger male and she like it and we continue to play like this for going on three years now. My wife is now so addicted to this that I cannot get her to stop. I know that it is my fault but I love my wife and do not want to leave her. I have told her that I did not want anything to do with this anymore and ask her to stop. She said that was fine but when we have sex she will get excited and tells me she can't stop and does not want to, I even ask her to try to stop over a period of time. For a while it enhanced our sex life (which was dead) and I was willing to try anything to help us. It was about us in the beginning and it really did help us and we became closer. I know it sounds crazy but I felt my wife could not be honest with me so by letting her date other men she would feel comfortable telling me anything. She is honest with me now , brutally honest. I have told her I will try to deal with it, but now I feel like I have lost her. She tell me its just sex and that she loves me and would never leave me, the men that she dates are attached or married and a lot younger than us, I don't think they are looking for an older woman with three young kids.When we were dating she cheated on me and we broke up for a few years but still had sex during that time when we did get back together we got married and had kids right in a row,(20 years together 12 married) but the sex life never came back until I got her started with the dating site. What should I do since I am the one who got her started or did I really just find out that I really never got her back.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, spirited +, writes (3 November 2007):
Go to counseling. You have children and a history together... a LIFE. It's not just so easily done as just LEAVE her. There is a family and children's futures to consider. My best advice is to seek counseling. That might have also been a better solution in the first place, rather than your alternative, but regardles... a counselor will help you find other ways of satisfying her need for attention and help you improve your sex life and your communication.
If you find it hard to explain to her how her dating-site addiction is breaking you apart... write to her. Write down how it makes you feel, what you miss when it was just "you and her" and how you want her to be just YOUR wife, not other men's plaything.
A lot of communication and COMPROMISE is at hand here, I wish both of you the best of luck and many blessings.
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