A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am very confused. Did i do the right thing? Am i really in love or is it just a rebound? Am i the one to blame for all that happened?Well, I met my ex boyfriend when i was 16. Few months after our relation he moved out of town. We had a LDR for 4 years. We had a break up in between due to his negligence, careless behavior. He was lost in his own world and forgot completely about me. I thought he is cheating but he was not. He was all famous in his college and loved all the attention. I was heart broken because i missed him. I hated myself, blamed my self for this behavior of his, forgetting my important days like my cultural shows or my exams, my interviews. He never wished me luck. He was never there when i needed him. :( I never felt him near me as if i am spare he is carrying along and would use me in his hour of need. When it came to the S E X talk he was always ready but when i needed him for emotional support he was never there. He never shared his thoughts and future plans with me. He just turned into a self centered and selfish person. I went to meet him on his birthday during our break up. We ended up drunk and then one thing lead to another. When we woke up, we decided to give it a try. I came back to my home town as i still live with my parents. Here i took a job to support my self and i met a guy. We were friends and turned into really good friends. He made me meet his friends and his sister (she is a doll). I was very happy around him. He made me laugh to th extent my stomach hurt. :) I was enjoying, traveling, sports etc but we always were in a group. I started smiling a lot my mom asked me once, you have started glowing and staying really happy. I was shocked. I saw myself in the mirror and realized the difference in me. My friend gave me everything i needed. care, support love, admiration and most of all he made me feel i am needed in his life. He never said he had feelings for me, he knew i had a B.F. I do not know how and when i fell for my friend. I started getting jealous of his other girls which never happen with my boyfriend, i missed when he was away, whenever i needed anything it was him that came in my mind. I told him about my feelings and he told me he felt the same. :) Between all this my boyfriend had his internship in some firm and stayed busy. We had no contact. It was later i told my boyfriend i need to break up. He agreed and did not question me a thing. I told him lets meet up and discus my B.F said: what is there to discus you need it and it is not working for us. This is how it end. A month after my Break up my friend asked me to be his girl. I said yes. it is from that day my life is amazing. I feel so complete. But my now ex accused me of cheating on him. He abused me cursed me on phone. He even told me i am not fit to be my parents daughter. I am sinner and i will rot in hell and that i will be hated by 100's. 4 days later he text me, he does not want anyone to be sad because of him and to think ill for him so he apologized. Now he some times text me and indirectly tell me that i did wrong and i am after my current boyfriend (my friend) for money. He calls me love hungry :( as says i am very demanding and to take advantage of my boyfriends as much as i can. :( He even told me on our 4th anniversary (which was a month away from the day we broke up) he made huge plans to come to my home town and he was to talk to his parents about us. If only i would have waited. But he never mentioned any of this when i broke up with him. He did not even try to stop me. Not once did he ask the reason. Not once did he mention him coming to my home town or asked me to give him a little bit of time as he is planning to come to see me. I mean if he had planned any of this would he not ask for time? Was he lying so that i regret my decision and make me feel like a bitch who ruined us?Now his accusations have forced me to think the above question i asked you all. Did i do the right thing in dumping my ex? Am i really in love with my friend? was it my fault i fell for my friend?Did i really hurt my EX? Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Scarletgreen4 +, writes (3 June 2011):
 Thank you all. It really helped me. Now i know i am in love. :) I feel a burden is lifted from my shoulders. Thank you.
A
male
reader, loveonce +, writes (1 June 2011):
 you did nothing wrong..story is plain and simple..all efforts which is being made from opposite sides are mere for making you feel guilty,not because you did wrong thing,but because you hurt a male's ego.
he is unable to swallow the truth that you ,you can move ahead leaving (dumping)him behind.All accusations that he makes are rubbish..nobody behaves to his gf like that,or if he cared he should have been sincere and caring enough..you move on and as you are in a relation and stay away from your ex..he will try his best to spoil this beautiful relation which you are undergoing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): I definitely think you did the right thing by dumping him. He sounds very unpleasant and I'm glad you have found someone better. It's not wrong that you fell for your friend, you can't help who you like. As long as you didn't cheat on your ex, just ignore him and have a perfectly clear conscience, knowing you're right and he's wrong.
I also think you should change your phone number as well so he can't contact you anymore in a selfish, immature attempt to sabotage your new relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): Move on girl. Don't listen to what your EX says. He is just jealous because you have found the right partner who is treating you right. You said that he was never there for you when you needed emotional support. He is being selfish. Yes he is lying to make you feel that you made a wrong decision. but you are NOT wrong. what you did is right. Cut all the contacts with him.
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