A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was 20 yrs old when I got married and have been with this man since I was 17.Really he is the only guy I've ever been involved with physically but lately I feel sometimes i desire another man another touch although I'm in a perfect marriage and sex is great everytime.My husband is a very attractive man,he is very loving and caring and gives me everything I want but I still feel like i have a strong desire to experience another man because he is the only guy I've ever been with.Couple of months back I met a guy when I was at a party with some of my friends.We both got drunk and danced together in a seductive way(rubbing our bodies), he had his arms around my waist and then he asked asked me to come to the back but thank god I said no because I'm married. Nothing happened no kiss,nothing and later that night I hung out with him and 2 of his other friends who were husband and wife.We all went to eat, had a good time and then they dropped me home. I was still drunk when we went to eat and said something too stupid in front of his friends that I think i was attracted to you tonight.Next morning he texted me saying that it was good to meet you and let me know if you ever want to hangout or something.I said it was fun to hangout with you all and we should do it again.I started thinking about him because he was the only other guy except for my husband who has ever touched me like that.Then a week later I msged him and asked if him and his other two friends would like to hangout on the weekend.He said he wants to hangout but the others are not available.I said ok we can re schedule it for another time because I definitely didn't mean to ask him out on a date.Then a couple of weeks later he messaged me again and asked what happend i thought we were going out? I was going to a club with some of my friends on that weekend and invited him over there.He said he cant make it on that day but he would be up for doing something on the next day, I said ok maybe another time.Anyway we didn't get to meet again or anything and after that we never talked or messaged each other but I feel really guilty for letting him get his hands on me when i was tooo drunk and telling him that I was attracted to him.I also feel bad that I communicated with him again and invited him to the club.Did I really do something really bad ? My friends think I have a tendency to over think and over analyze things and I get appologetic about little things easily but I really want to know if I did something wrong and if I should feel guilty like I am feeling right now? Also how should I deal with my feelings and desire to experience another man? I never want to cheat on my husband but how do i deal with these feelings? Is it normal to feel that way or am i too selfish ??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): I told my husband everything that happened last night.I cried while talking and as expected he didn't get too mad about it because he understood that I was genuinely ashamed and regret getting drunk so much and then communicating with him. He said it's ok you are human and we all make mistakes but you realized before things got out of hand but.He said be careful next time and dont think you missed out in any thing because what we have is very special and nothing can replace that.I think overall it helped me to come clean and i truly felt bad and will make sure it wont happen again. Again I will say I WAS NOT intending to have sex with him but enjoyed the attention and harmless flirtation but i undertand that even with my best intentons it could have turned into a nightmare if things went far and we were in the wrong situation.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Only you can decide whether to tell your hb or not. One thing you must know is this: the other man saw your communication as a sign to have sex with you. He never cared that you were married. That is a warning - men will take what you offer them. Going to clubs without yiur hb is almost a marriage killer. And that over drinking is a recipe for disaster. Work on your marriage kid. Not having sex with other men - you are not missing anything. Some men don't kniw what a clitoris or even where to find our g spot. Don't ruin your marriage just for a few minutes with another man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): thanks for the replies.i really realllllly feel like a horrible person.Should i tell my husband about it and let him know that i wont do anything like this again or should i just learn from my mistake and sleep on it? I'm genuinely sorry and feel like a loser that i made it look like i was trying to hook up with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): what should i communicate with my husband? should i tell him all what happened? I feel AWFUL!!! i am never going to the clubs again on my own and getting drunk.i do take my husband with me sometimes and he would never do something like this. i feel pethetic!! i never intend to cheat on him. i know i should be careful with the drinking and all. i'm glad i realized everything before things went far.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): yes you need to fell guilty because you are gulity. your need to experience another man is going to land you into trouble. you will cheat no matter what your best intentions are. whether drunk or not you had someone feeling you up while dancing. when you were sober you deliberately tried to hook up with this man, in the pretence of friendship. i think you are out partying/socialising too much on your own and getting out of hand. have you thought of perhaps taking your husband along to these clubs? how would you feel if he was rubbing himself onto another girl or if he was making plans to meet another woman. you are playing with fire and you will destory what you have if you are not careful.
being married too young is not an excuse to cheat. or no matter how much you want to pretend that you were drunk or you wanted mere friendship you have crossed boundaries AND YOU KNOW IT. before this turns into a nightmare start communicating with your husband. don't be a fool and throw away a good guy because you did not experience other men. F@cking other men is a tad bit overrated. sometimes feel one penis and you felt them all, has oral sex with one and it is the same with the other. what really did you miss out? a penis is a penis, is a penis. i know women who have had to just lie there and let this 'great" stud get off without any enjoyment. sex was aweful but it destroyed their marriage/relationship. don't say you have not been warned.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): I feel a little depressed sometimes about what happened even though it didn't go far or anything but i still feel like a loser that i'm married and flirted with a guy openly and then i made myself look like a fool by trying to make plans with him to hangout.I wasn't trying to ask him on a date but i dont know what i was thinking. Am i being hard on myself or should i really be feeling this guilty? Did i really do something bad?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): You did not understand my question.I do not plan to see or talk to this man again so i wont end up in bed or anything but I'm trying to deal with my feelings/guilt.I'm feeling a little guilty.Should i feel guilty or just forget about it because nothing ever happened, it was just harlmless fun.i feel so stupid that first i was flirtatious with him and then i invited him to the club again.Did i give him any wrong ideas by inviting him to the club? I did not mean to ask him out on a date and clearly told him that we can hangout with a group of people and also asked him to bring his friends too. Did i do something really bad? I'm not going to talk to him again but did i cross the line already?
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (11 August 2010):
 this is why getting married too young can be a bad thing. you haven't had a chance to experience the dating scene. but you having these feelings isn't bad as long as youu don't act on them. however it seems like you tried to... but the grass isn't always greener on the other side. that's the truest thing i've ever heard.
your husband sounds like a great guy. why would you wanna mess that up? it's plenty of women out here looking for a good man and if you mess this up then please believe somebody will want take him. then you'll really be looking like the fool.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Your either going to do one of two things. A) your going to sleep with this guy and feel really guilty. B) your going to get rocked like you've never been rocked before and end up in a divorce. This is a prime example why I don't believe in waiting till you get married to have sex. Choose wisely. Once you go down this road it's hard to turn back.
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