A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When i was going out with my boyfriend, we went through this phase of him liking someone else. And after a while, we got back together, after he apologized and he came back. So some time later, we were kissing and making out and stuff and then i said we should do it. It was my first time though, and i was a virgin. Then we started, but it was really painful and i got scared and asked him to stop and i didnt want to do it any more. But he said it would get better after a while and i still insisted that i didnt want to do it. He basically teased me, and when i tried to get away he still held on to me and was touching me, and said he loved me and everything else. And after a while, i gave in. And when it was over he asked me how it felt and i said it felt good. But i was so sore and so upset after it and i just had to ask, does the fact that i said yes at first mean I brought it in myself?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 December 2009):
He could claim that he thought you meant yes.
Unfortunately in court, not saying No, means yes.
However, you really need to get away from this boy.
He's prepared to do that so what else is he willing to do?
Please just cut contact with him and try and move on.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): I don't think he raped you or anything but he was not a very considerate lover at all. I can see why you might want to break up with him after such a traumatic experience. The lesson to learn here is that you don't give a greenlight to sex to a guy if you're not 100% sure about it. In an ideal world everyone would stop as soon as the other person shows the first signs of a changing mind. But people are fallible and it's incredibly hard for young horny guys to stop when they are already as far as you say he was. You've got every right to be very upset about this. But I just don't think he deserves to wear the seriously bad label of having "forced you into sex" either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didnt say "Ok, go ahead", but i just let him go on with it. Even though i was scared and felt bad the whole thime
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 December 2009):
No. You told him to stop and he didn't. But you do say that you "gave in."
If by that you meant you gave consent then he hasn't legally done anything wrong.
But the fact he pressured you like that and didn't respect you means he's really not a nice guy deep down.
I would seriously consider if you want to be with a guy like that.
Tell him you feel really upset that he pressured you into carrying on when you were in pain.
Good Luck!! xx
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