A
female
age
26-29,
*ammyLeixoxo
writes:Well where do i start..im a 17 year old girl and i fell in love. first love and all that. Its been goiing on since my 2nd year in senior school and its always been on and off!.. it got to the year 2005 anddd we wasnt together but got chatting one morning in march, at this time he was randomly going out with a girl but it was nothing serious but we both decided i was going to loose my virginity to him that say. he'd already lost it but i didnt mind. A day or two after we got together and was together solidly for around 8 months. Then broke up for a while and on and off. Things were pretty hectic :S but we we're together over christmas of 2006 into the year 2007 but split up in the january.He started seeing a girl he thought he loved for a few months!?! but he didnt. He'd cheat on her with me constantly but i didnt care what he was doing because i'd fell in love with him. A few months passed and he told me as soon as he breaks up with her he's getting with me again!.. so he broke up with her i didnt see him much (school half term?) and he was all of a sudden going out with someone else. I Asked him 'what about me?' and he said well this was meant to be like a joke but i really like her. So he stayed with her :| BUT again cheated on her with me. they didnt last very long and around two weeks later i was going on holiday with my mom and the day i was going he asked me out. i said yeah whatever i dont care im going on holiday.. of course i was botherd about him but i didnt want to show it. anyway when i got back off holiday things we're absolutley perfect i'd see him all the time its was just peachy a few days after i got back was our prom and he made it perfect. It was time to start college though as we'd left school and we was goin to deifferent places. as time went on we'd just started at our new places and i didnt think things we're the same. I decided i wanted a break and the night i was giving him his things back.. turned into a night of him crying and begging but i just couldnt say ok i dont want a break, two days later i thought omg i want him back (typical me) so i rung him and told him i needed to speak to him he made me say on the phone what i wnated and he said no. he said i messed him around sooo for a while we didnt really speak. about a month later i found out he had a new gf and we'd already started speaking again. one night he was still with her we met up and he cheated again (with me) but then decided it was wrong but he didnt give me greif he just felt bad. A short while later he said he wasnt with her anymore. this was last october say when got with her then early december he said he'd broke up with her and by then we'd had a cuple of drunken nights where we'd shared the same bed. This one time that he came back to mine on the 14th of december after a mates party, i looked through his phone and she was all over it. he swore he wasnt with her but we were so drunk it passed my mind.we'd meet up again a few weeks later and i'd heard he was buying her a christmas preasent so i asked him out striaght he told me no he wasnt it was a lie. everytime i met him i asked him about her and he said they we're over he told her he liked me. One time he said he met her and showed her my picture. I felt so great he'd done that. As christmas day came we had a really long phone call and aftewards he declared his undying love for me and told me we we're getting back together new year. I was excited. I told him i didnt know if i wanted to because of all the crap i'd had of him obviously but he talked me into wanting to. so he saw me a cuple of days after chritmas and came to my house told me i looked beautiful but said he threw my christmas card in the bin because it was too late to give it too me after christmas had passed. I said okayyy. I asked him again if he got his ex anything and he swore down that he didnt so i belived him. then on december the 30th we was supposed to meet up and chat but i ended up spending the night at his brothers.. things were okay although i could tell something was up thats why we was going to talk in the first place. It was okay so we went to bed and did what we do then morning came and he was a bit off with me. He Made me wake up earlyy around nine and we got ready and went to the bus stop, i asked him what he was doing and he said going home then going to go shopping with his mom so i said alright. we didnt end up getting together over new year because i felt something wasnt right so i said i didnt want to. we met up again the other week for the 1st time since new year although we texted constantly and he always said he loved me and im all he wanted until last week i thought something wasnt right. i'd asked him if he could do me the favour in telling me the truth about everything, he didnt answer so i text again and he said 'i think i can' so this got me thinking.. i found his ex's myspace the one he'gd got with in october and asked her myself if she was stil trying to get on him (like did she still want him) and she answered yes shes with him and who am i am i his ex?. Going back i'd took a picture at his brothers of me and him and put it on my myspace in a favourites of 2007 folder, and she saw it then a little later on messaged me saying no actually im not with him why?so i told her everything.and i found out he'd been with her all along. since october. All the times he'd met me.all the times he'd come to my house.all the times he'd text me rung me.Everything he told me was alie.. he didnt really go and meet her to show her my picture to say he dosent want to be with her he met her because she was his girlfriend. she was all over his phone that one night because she was his girlfriend. he always met up with her because she was his girlfriend.he wasnt really single, he had a girlfriend.when i confronted him i asked him why he did it. he was SO gutted he'd got found out, but assured me it was because if he told me the truth i'd run and he didnt want that, but he couldnt end it with her cause he hates being nasty? but its different for me coz how long we'd knows each other. he also reassured me he knew what he was doing and he knew he'd want me back and he'd been breaking it of with her all week so he could get me back and him and her would slowly be turning into me and him.Im not gutted in the slightest about finding him out because he deserved it although i would of liked to have found out if me and him we're actualy gonna happen but now i know they were all lies, its hit me hard. plus he actually spent loadss on her at christmas time. And he wasnt going shopping with his mom at new year he went to her house thats why we had to wake up so early.i'd like to know if he done it because he's just selfish and wants everything!! knowing he can always run back to me? or did he really do it to hurt me and did he not care about the lies all along?i need some answers cause' from him they dont seem to be putting me in my place..
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a break, broke up, christmas, drunk, fell in love, his ex, myspace, on holiday, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sk.khaos  +, writes (31 January 2008):
well hun, your being made a fool of, and its not your fault, usually when we like someone alot we dont see the bad in them cause we dont believe that they would do anything to hurt us,somehow we tend to get blindsighted from the bad they do us,and we let it go. but the truth is, a relationship thats on and off constantly is not a relationship you want to be in,its just a waste of time. i see it in this way, he was being really selfish, and he just realied on you to be there,he knew you would,and there you were.i dont think he really meant to hurt you, he did i know and it was a real bullshit move of what he did,but i dont think it was his intention to really hurt you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): Why do girls selectively believe anything a guy has to say when they just want to believe him, and then cry "he used me!" when they get burned?
If girls would take 1/10th of the hard logic they use against undesirable guys and start applying it to the hotter ones (even when it tells them something they don't want to her), the world would be a much better place.
People need to take some responsibility for willingly helping a partner delude them.
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