A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there.Im feeling really confused.I was on and off with my boyfriend for 2 years. We had some amazing times but also some bad ones. We split up for good in February this year and ended quite badly. It has been nearly 6 months now and I still think about him a lot, and havnt met anyone who compares to him. I heard through friends that he went to Ibiza to work for the summer a month ago, so I decided I needed to try and plan some things for myself. I started to plan a visa to move o Austrailia and am planning on moving next year. I changed my 'current city' on facebook to 'Sydney'. Although im not friends with him on facebook, he must have seen that i had changed my city o Sydney and presumed that I had already moved. He sent me a really long message saying he felt sick at the thought of not seeing me again, he dreams about me nearly every night and he still thinks im the one.I repied saying I felt the same, and I hadnt gone to Austrailia yet, but I said I guess our lives have gone seperate ways and that I would love things to have been different.He didnt reply to my message and now I think maybe he only messaged me because he thought I had gone away. In the message he did say 'I was gonna write u a really long message but i suppose its pointless now that i have realised u have gone away.I am constantly checking my messages to see if he has replied and I feel all those old feelings comingback :(I would be willing not to go to Austrailia for him but I dont know what to do :(Please help and be honest with me xxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): So he is stalking you on FB, and he wrote to you that he "still thinks you are the one", and you responded you felt the same and wish things could have turned out differently....well, that sort of leaves a door open to him, but you have told him of your plans to move out of the country. There could be no better way of making your break up permanent.Personally, I think that is how most break ups are, permanent. It's only been 6 months after ending a two year relationship, and it sounds as if you two were rater serious. Well, 6 months is not long enough to give yourself time to get over it. Same for him, he felt a bit of panic realizing that his options to be with you again were definately closed and he is ambivalent as you are.If you want to get back together and try again, you'll have to realize that this takes a lot of work, a lot of time, and you will have to understand that your ex will push you away due to anger, and due to him trying to convince himself that the break up was the right decision. You can turn this around if you deal with what caused the break up in the first place and own your part f it. Don't go on endlessly about the past relationship, apologize once and let him see your changes. You have to start out slowly, dating, not sleeping with each other so that you bring the fun and friendship back into the relationship.You have to ask yourself why you want to get back together with him. Love insn't enough, it just isn't...and remembering only the good times which is normal, you may be tricked by the fact that it is the human mind that makes painful memories hard to remember, it's our bodies beautiful way of helping us forget pain, otherwise women would never give birth to a second child. So be careful of what you ask for, you just might get it.
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