A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, any help would be greatly appreciated. Apparently, I’m clueless when it comes to men. I’ve spent my life building my career, that I have failed to learn how to read situations such as this: This past weekend, whilst attending a conference, I met a guy who used to work in my building, however we had never been introduced before. We soon realised that we have mutual acquaintances and ended up sitting together for dinner. Even though we sat at a table full of people, we had managed to seclude ourselves into a corner and talk non-stop for the hour. He asked if I was seeing anyone or had kids, but before I could answer, he retracted the question, apologising for being so personal.The next day he joined a friend and I for lunch. A lovely lady walked passed and said to him, “we’ll catch up back in the city.” He awkwardly responded with, ‘errm, okay.” However, immediately turned to me and said, “I don’t remember making that arrangement.”So I leaned over and said to him, “then that was a hint from her…”I continued talking to my friend. When I stopped, he turned to me and asked, “so do you miss me?” I was stunned into silence that he was so direct. So he continued, “Do you all talk about me at work?”So I said with a coy smile, “We have more important things to talk about other than you!”My friend and I got up to leave and I turned to him and asked that he drop me an e-mail. I started to walk away as he responded with, “You can also e-mail me.” (Did he just hit the ball back into my court? 30-all perhaps?)We didn’t swap details. Neither of us know each other’s email address. But we can easily find out as we have mutual acquaintances. Would it be forward or perhaps desperate if I were to e-mail him? And if I do, what would I say to sound smart and casual? OR do I sit back and wait for him to (potentially) initiate?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2014): I am the opposite of you. I had plenty experience with men. This is what I think of this situation. The guy chatted you up a bit, don't read too much into it. We will never know if he did in fact made an arrangements with that lady, but to be safe lets just assume that he did.... And he wanted to play double game. Though I had no problem contacting a man, the reason why I stopped doing it is because it hardly ever works. Yes, he told you that you can contact him also, butif he really wanted to be connected with you he would at least give you his number or email. Why do you have to make a search through common friends??All the questions about you missing him, about your family status for me is just again chatting up. There is a slight chance though that heis interested but the act that he didnt act on it, worries me. All I know that I lerned through the years and experienced is if a man wants you he will act on it. A simple action of getting your phone number was not done, I wouldn't expect more from him. I meet guys all the time, everywhere I go. If a guy doesn't asks me out after couple days of texting, I stop responding. I met this guy just couple days ago in a bar. We danced, I gave him my phone. He texts me in a morning to ask how I slept, and at night wishing me good night. I politely answer. No word of us getting together. Tomorrow if he doesn't ask me out I am not responding anymore. It's just a waste of time. What is his intentions behind these texting? To get me in bed? To date me? I have no idea. And if he doesn't let me know very soon, he will be history like many others. Be aware of lazy guys. They will expect you to do all the work. From my numerous experience I would never contact a guy in a situation like this. Believe me i did it before, and it never ever worked. Believe only in action, words mean nothing if there is no action
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2014): If you wait for him it might not happen. NO harm in a lady making the first move. I'd be casual in an email. You might make a joke asking him if he met up with the passer by.
Or just ask how he is?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 November 2014):
 Do you WANT to talk to him again? IF so, why not be the first to contact?
I don think if someone avoid swapping contact details they REALLY aren't so keen to STAY in contact, but maybe that is just me.
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