A
female
age
41-50,
*uestions!
writes:I have been seeing a man for a year now and things are going well. I have a child from a previous relationship but my bf is very loving to her and he is a very nice man. The problem is that he had a brief relationship a few months before we started dating. he mentioned her to me because he felt ashamed he had slept with someone he barly knew but he was new in town and was lonely, not a good excuse but thats what happened. Anyway out of curiousity I found this lady on facebook and she seems to have had a baby that would coincide with the tim ehe was with her. I am not positive of the baby's birthday but it is possible that he was with her around the time of conception. He always used a condom with her and he only came with her once ( he has trouble ejaculating) and he believes the child has nothing to do with him, I emailed this girl and she told me that she was pregant before she was with him and that the baby is her bf's they were having a rough time and basically she cheated on him but she is sure that the baby is her fiances. I just cant shake the feeling that this baby is my bf's. I know it seems like a slim chance but this is eating away at me everyday, i fear that this lady will come back later when things dont work out with her fiance. Am I being paranoid? I know I have a child that my bf has accepted but she has ALWAYS been a part of the picture, this "maybe" child is very unsettling. I am so upset by this that even though we have a very loving relationship, I feel I can not go on. Everytime I look at him i search to see if he looks like this child, I have emailed his fling again and again and she will not answer me. He even emailed her fiance and told him about sleeping with her and no responce. i just wish we could get some closure on this. I am lost.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 February 2009):
Wow, so you are trying to ruin this poor girl's life by contacting her fiance to tell him that the baby may not be his....
The baby does not sound like it is your boyfriends, this really sounds like your paranoia.
However, if you ruin things for her and make the real father run out on her, then she may come looking for support because she needs to raise her child alone, basically because of you.
Of course she is not going to reply to you on facebook, you are stalking her and trying to cause problems in her view.
Leave this poor woman alone to raise her child with her fiance.
Good Luck!! xx
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