A
female
age
41-50,
*eni
writes:i have been married for 13 years and we have three boys. we only dated 2 months before getting married. i was 22 he was 29. he is from the middle east and i am american, i am catholic and hes muslim, any way. he lost his job in the states last year, now were living in the west bank palestine. my problem is he has changed. 1. hes depressed, no self confidence, he thinks all the time about he we screwed up and now were living in a third world country. he hates living here but feels stuck. we tried to find jobs before we moved here but there's nothing that were qualified for. and the other jobs are min. wage. the biggest issue for me is that we have nothing, no money, health ins, house, car and our kids are going to a arabic speaking school and i feel their losing their edjucation. the worst part is now hes blaming me for not helping him in the past with holding down a job, he brings up shit and we fight all the time about the past. i told him that because we had twins i couldnt work, because the money would pay for the day care, any way it doesnt matter what i say, he always says i start the fights, and he critisizes everyhting i do. now he said not to talk to him anymore or he will send me and the boys to america. the other problem is i love him and the boys adore him. if he sends us packing where do i go? i have no family that can take me in. also im in debt and i only have a medical asst degree, how can i start all over with no support? i dont want to leave him but hes so miserable and neglects us. please give me all the advice i really need it.
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confidence, debt, depressed, lost his job, money, muslim Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): My heart goes with you. You are in a tight situation and in a closed end. Life in the West bank is & will continue to be very difficult. You need to go back to the US, no matter how difficult it will be in the beginning it will not be as difficult as it is now for you. Just plan carefully, be wise in your decisions, look for a decent job and try to improve your skills. I am sure that the love is there it just needs some polishing from all the hardship that you both have endured. BUT YOU NEED TO MOVE FAST as he is probably going into depression because he feels he is not supporting you as he should & if this continues the depression will increase & he will not be able to solve the problem or move on.
All the best
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): I am really really sorry for both of you and your children. I am from the middle east but I lived good part of my life in Europe. My advice to you both is to sit and really think deeply about your situation now and make a plan on how to get back to America.it is such a shame for your kids to grow up in the middle-east when they could have lived in the US. you are still young. you should be able to plan ahead. try to get assistant from humaniterian organisations.you should not give up. especially your husband should not give up or lose confidence in himself. you must remember you are half way there by being an american yourself. please read stories of many many people who have risen from the ashes and achieved outstanding successes.most important find the strength in yourselves and make plans and put milestones in your life. say for instance do any kind of work now for a certain period of time to safe some money to acheive a certain goal like moving to a gulf state in the middle-east or africa where you can make more money.Don't shy from work and try to learn a certain skill or profession like nursing or teaching or any skill that could help you to get ahead in life, and most important don't stop looking for outside help and make sure you take your kids back to America. Good luck.
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