A
male
age
41-50,
*ohhn
writes:Hi Aunties,Have a question here. I am a 29yr old male bisexual guy. I have sought out this guy 7yrs younger than me for the past 5yrs. He has always been adamant that he is saved and cannot have a romantic relationship with me. I however never gave up, and indeed he never let me give up, always asking me to try, saying one day he would give in. Three months ago, he came to sleep over at my place, and I tried being intimate with him, and indeed he pushed me away saying I did not love him, but only lusted for his body. We broke up, and for the three months, I kept away, trying to get over him. He however called me and texted me saying I did not care about him. I gave him my reasons, and he said he loved me but found expressing that difficult. He came over to my place and I tried being intimate with him again...I couldnt help myself. He accepted, and indeed allowed me to give him a fellatio, several times. I just have one question, can a straight guy allow another man to fellate him? Or could he be bi like me? He has girlfriends and even concieved one who they have a son together with. Did he just allow me to be intimate with him due to pressure from me or could he be bi? Thanks.
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male
reader, Johhn +, writes (10 October 2012):
Johhn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with the anonymous respondent about his confusion. I am not entirely sure he is gay, more likely bi...Back off? No please, I luv this guy with all my heart and he has all I need, the only guy I am free with. He loves me too, and I sincerely hope to make this relationship work. Any guys with advice?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012): "I think he is indeed bi....Could he be?"I suspect more likely he is gay, and doesn't want to be. If so, then I can understand completely. Despite much progress, with the exception of a few large cities and regions, it is still inherently more difficult to live day-to-day life as an openly gay male than it as a straight male. That he has conceived a son only complicates matters and exacerbates his inner doubts and confusion and torments. Red flag on him: He SAYS he loves you, a DC staple line translating across all genders and orientations, but what he DOES so far has indicated otherwise. Other red flag is on you: You state you're 29 and have sought out a guy seven years younger for five years, meaning he's now 22 and you've been after him since you were 24 and he was 17. You're the savvy adult and he's the inexperienced kid and I don't think the dynamics have changed all that much even though he's now a legal adult. You can't pressure a guy to come to terms with his own sexuality, and at this point I'd say you're only further exacerbating his inner doubts and confusion and torments. Best for both of you if you back off, what you're seeking from each other doesn't seem the stuff of healthy, functional relationships, and in any event he has a lot on his plate and your constant hovering isn't helping him or his kid.
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A
male
reader, Johhn +, writes (9 October 2012):
Johhn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea guys you could be right...But anyways, this guy loves me or so I think, whenever I keep away, he calls me and inquires why I am so silent...He sent me a rose, and texted me calling me dear...He says he loves me and he knows that I have done everything to prove that I actually love him (his own words) but I needed to give him time to accept the fact that he loves me as he has never identified that part of himself...I have been loving to him. He really loved it, and walked around my house naked in the morning. Problem is, I tried inviting him back two days later and he is reluctant to visit. I asked him whether he was ashamed of me and he said the fact that he was in my own bed at night was proof that he loved me. I want him to be mine, but dont know how. I think he is indeed bi....Could he be?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012): I don't think he allowed you because of pressure OP, you walked away and he was the one who contacted you remember? That's the opposite of pressure. It is when you stopped pressuring him that he finally had sex with you.
He sounds like he may be bi or just bicurious, there's really no way to know. But it's time you really backed off. He's playing games. You spent 5 years trying to be with him, trying to get him to open up and he then tells you that you only lust after him and don't really love him? He's either stupid or too much work OP. I mean come on if it was just lust you could have gone off and an openly gay, attractive guy to fool around with. 5 years of a chase is enough to show someone how you feel, you don't have to prove anything more to him.
If I were you I'd tell him I'm done, I've had enough of these games, I've tried so hard to show you how I feel, win you over and all you do is question my integrity. It's time I found a guy who can feel the same way I do.
One thing OP, if he was 100% hetero you wouldn't have even gotten near him to even attempt that kind of sexual contact.
But he's just not worth bothering with anymore because he's far too much work, especially when there are lots of other guys out there open for being with you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 October 2012):
 yes a straight guy can allow another man to perform fellatio on him. It's called bi-curious behavior for some.
for others "any port in a storm" kind of thing.
you have pressured him for FIVE years... heck if it was me I'd have ended my friendship with you a long time ago...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012): "can a straight guy allow another man to fellate him?"
Only a straight guy who likes getting blowjobs; it's not "gay" to get one from a guy, only "gay" to give one to a guy.
"Or could he be bi like me?"
Not necessarily, he could be a closet queen, or he could be a straight guy whose wife/girlfriend refuses to give him a blowjob.
"He has girlfriends and even concieved one who they have a son together with."
Then he could be either a closet queen in active denial who wanted to "prove" he's not really gay, or a straight guy whose girlfriend(s) refuse(s) to give him blowjobs.
"Did he just allow me to be intimate with him due to pressure from me or could he be bi?"
Neither; he just wanted a blowjob and he didn't care who's lips were wrapped around his dick as long as he got his rocks off.
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