A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Two months ago I started dating my boyfriend, and it was going pretty well. We live about 2 1/2 hours away from each other, so we would talk on the phone every night and then take turns visiting each other on the weekends. He hasn't really ever acted like you would think a normal boyfriend would act though; he never compliments me about anything, and he never asks me how I'm doing or anything. Most of the time if I want to talk to him, I have to try texting or calling him first, and sometimes I think he just ignores me. Whenever we're together things are usually pretty good, but it's weird that he barely talks to me otherwise. I know he has a lot of friends that are girls and that doesn't really bother me because I have a lot of friends that are guys too, but I don't know. This week in particular we haven't talked for a few days; I've tried calling him and texting him a little bit, but no response. I don't understand why he acts like this! Does anyone have any ideas on why he may act like this or on what I should do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Who +, writes (30 April 2009):
 “I don't understand why he acts like this! Does anyone have any ideas on why he may act like this…”
Well I have two guesses:
1) He is not that into you, or into a relationship with you, or into a relationship with anyone at this point in his life.
2) He is into you and a relationship, but is clueless when it comes to what he needs to do in the relationship and to meet your wants & needs.
“…what I should do?”
I have three suggestions:
a) Join a convent and become a nun, never to have to deal with men romantically again.
b) Tell him you want out and start looking for a new guy who behaves better to towards you.
c) Tell him you are unhappy with his behavior, and ask him if wants you in a relationship or not. If he says he wants you, ask him what he wants out of the relationship, and what he values about you. Once you two have discussed his wants/needs, and which you believe you are or will fulfill, tell him it is a two way street. Tell him what you expect and want from him, and what you are unhappy about. This will not take one sitting to discuss and agree upon. It will be a continuing process for the whole time you are together. Neither of you are going to be perfect for the other one. You are going to learn to enjoy the good points and ignore the bad points. Or you are going to split up.
Best of luck and hope this helps.
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