A
male
age
30-35,
*uperstitionainttheway
writes:[Mod note: OP title]Hi, me and my girlfriend have been together for nerly 18 months and have just finished off our A-level exams. we are still young and she is very much my first love. with all the confidence i have left, i can say that for large majority of our relationship we have never been happier. we have both reguarly said across the past 18 months we believe we will go the distance.we never argue and never get sick of each other, we would see eachother of a weekend and maybe once during the week as we both have other commitments. we have never felt like we have seen too much of each other and always prioritize eachother in our diaries.however,last summer, after working away for a few days, i come home to a phone call that she wants to break up with me, reasoning be that she cant handle a boyfriend. A few weeks building up to this i notice that something isnt right and hope that it passes over. never the less this depressive trait resulted in a very emotinal break up for both of us.for the next 6 weeks i go out of my way to restricy contact between us in hope it helps me get over her, but as summer ends and the new college year starts she goes out of her way to get me back. now back together she tells me how it was the worst 6 weeks of her life, that she wishes she ignored the depression and that if it ever happened again she wouldnt let it split us up again.from then till may (10 months) we was as we were, completely in love. but now its happening all over again. over the past 6 weeks she has come to a point were she doesent call me/text me, doesent make an effort to see me or display any effection, she is even reluctant to hold my hand. i question her about it but she says she is fine, that im being too clingy, yet i no deep down i havent changed in the slightest. she rejects the idea of her dumping me again when i question her, so the awkward strained relationship continues.we have a holiday booked for 2 weeks time, coincedently the same day we broke up last year. i honestly dont no if she is waiting till we get off holiday to finish me off or if she is actually trying to hold out untill this depression goes.but the whole experience is starting to kill me inside. 6 weeks of not knowing if the person you love is about to finish you with the reluctancy to talk about it, and the knowing that its happened once before.if anyone could help me out?even if its just talking, i have trouble talking to my friends about this. does depression even happen seasonally? it seemes to much of a coincedence that it was happening this time last year.the worst part of all is it is REALLY starting to feel like its just me that shes behaving in this way towards (as well as her family)its as if she can cover it up for her friends but when its me i just get treated like a nobody.if i could i would do anything to get through this period with our relationship in-tact.hope i havent bored you too much.
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male
reader, superstitionainttheway +, writes (3 July 2010):
superstitionainttheway is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for the advise guys:)
well im her first realy boyfriend to be honest, i am definatly the first serious relationship she has had.
tbh, i feel if i talk to her about it too much i will put even more pressure on her. also with the circumstances she tends not to talk about anything deep/emotional anymore.
i am trying to give her the space she needs but i dont want to become even more distant, its a loose loose situation.
im hopeful everything will turn out ok thou=/
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 There is seasonal depression, but it usually comes in the winter and is associated with reduced sunlight. I've never heard of seasonal depression at the beginning of summer, but that doesn't mean it can't happen.
It sounds very much like your girl needs professional help. I'm not sure how you can talk her into seeking treatment now, when she's in the depths, but she might be more amenable once her mood lifts. In the meantime, you might try backing off and giving her some extra space.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (3 July 2010):
 Seasonal depression in the summer is rare. The depression shouldn't be ignored, otherwise, 1/4 of her life would be difficult. You have only 3/4 of her available to you. See if light therapy is going to help her if there isn't too much sun. You shouldn't take this personally. She would be that way towards everyone.
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A
female
reader, neadie winters  +, writes (3 July 2010):
hey there depression can be rough all round on you your grilfriend and even her family. she happy because she in college where her mind is took off it and she's kept busy she can hang with her friends have a laugh etc once college is over she has more time to think about thinks even stupid things and its good she can act that way infront of you it means that she really trusts you and not afraid to show it same reason why she shows it to her family and maybe she doesn't ring because she feels like shes putting a dampner on your relationship.surpise her do something mad. and she your first love but are you hers i dont mean this bad but the other option is her boyfriend before you and her have a deal where they can see anyone they want during the term year but when he comes home for the summer/hols thier back on. if your going to go with second option be so very careful because you don't want to lose her
P.s did you tell her how u feel !!!
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