A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi ok quite long story here basically I have an incredible feeling like I’m in love but I’m not sure I am? I know I love my best friend in the normal way who is male, however inside I think we both know it goes much deeper,I have always been friends with gay guys I’m very comfortable with them they make me laugh and I do them and am very respectful about there sexuality and great supportive friend to them all of course most of them are very camp so its quite easy not to think of them as deeper so its very innocent, and this is how it all started with my friend however he flirted with me outrageously at times and I would do the girl thing and laugh and be a little flirty back, but when we had a drink we ended up snogging at a bar last year egged on by pals and since then we’ve had are ups and downs but things are back to amazing again, we talk about art he astounds me with the things he says he’s an exiting person to be around we laugh hold hands, cuddle, kiss on the cheek and dance together, he holds my waist like my fiancé used too I seam to be unintentionally upsetting the gay community as I think some suspect I’m trying to turn him straight well that’s not the case I try to set him up with Men to pigeon hole this cos then I can be friends without hurting anyone and if he is truly gay I love him to want to see him happy with someone, Like a few evenings ago he had loads of men interested he always makes up excuses and ends up slow dancing with me to careless whisper I ask him why? He says it can be his hairiness, His weight, too young, too camp I’m older then him and we protect each other in a way maybe the easiest thing would be too stop the flirting but its hard I know then it wouldn’t be the same relationship I know his ex was angry when they spilt and he said on the phone he was on a night out just me and him But he seems to want to be with me its not Im intentionally taking his man away,He was bisexual in the past but now hes fully gay he says but his confusion is causing problems outside our twosome and I am starting to feel weird about all this as its hard to be this close to someone he’s always on my mind I'm thinking the feeling is mutual but how on earth cud we do something about it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (16 November 2008):
 You will ruin the friendship for sure. Also, he can never be the man you want him to be. He will never give up on men, is that the sort of lover/relationship you want?
You have a crush basically and that will pass in time, especially when you meet a man!
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