A
female
age
36-40,
*kila
writes:I can't let go of my boyfriend. Deep down inside i know he isn't for me other than the fact everyone tells me, i still ignore them and get hurt over and over again. I mean i never asked him for anything during our four year relationship and he never gave me anything. Whenever he needed me to be there for him I was. Although in this situation he needed me to be there financially which i always did before but realized that i put him first all the time and he never appreciated it. So this time i decided to put myself first for once and he called it off. I really love him but i realize he's not for me. I cry 90percent of this relationship and enjoy only 10. Somehow it's hurting me bcuz i love him always have and probably always will. I just want advice how to let him go and how to move on with my life?
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 Just because you may always love someone, it doesn't mean they are the one for you. Realize this, you are and will always be your number 1 priority in a relationship. The relationship you have with yourself, will determine your success in all other relationships and friendships.
A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (4 May 2008):
 Hi dear,
Let's start with who you are with, 100% of the time, that is yourself. How you feel about yourself, then, is very important. That involves feeling good about how you are treating yourself , and also how you are being treated
by others. You have to love yourself and care about yourself, before others will love and care about you,those not of your family. If others think you will allow them to disrespect and treat you badly they will. You must demand respect, this involves having self-respect and self-esteem. Work on building your self-esteem, believe that you are worthy of healthy love and not abuse, as your self-esteem grows, you will find that you will not stay in a relationship where you are not respected and loved as you should be. People who are users will try to take great advantage of you, if they think you care so much about them that they can treat you any way at all and you will stick around. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, you deserve better than garbage, love is not abuse. This person is quite selfish and you must realize that he means you no good. Break the hold, and move on to find a more mature,giving person, who is not a vampire.
First of all, love yourself, and find ways of doing that, read books about building self-esteem. Here's a web site that may help a bit, www.socyberty.com/writers/quiet+voice.
8137, look for the article "Finding Your Core", print it and read it often. Be good to yourself. Good luck to you always.
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A
female
reader, malvern  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 You need to join some sort of club or take up some type of sport or interest where you will be surrounded by other people. If you're not sporty perhaps you may prefer something like dancing classes or even ice skating. It should take your mind off your boyfriend. You seem to need space from each other. If you are always there for him he will continue to take advantage of you, it's human nature I'm afraid. He will probrably take more notice of you if he suddenly realises that you've got another part to your life that does not include him. It will make you feel much better in yourself and you will become a more interesting person both to him and to others.
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A
female
reader, anonymousme +, writes (4 May 2008):
Hi
I've had a similar situation myself, but deep down if you know that he is not that special one for you and that u go through more pain than you do happiness than you don't need to be with him. If he is only there for what you can give to him and not there for your love than f**k him. At some point you have to care about yourself. Even though people say you can live off love sounds like you're the only one with love in the relationship. To make sure he can't contact you take him out your phonebook, move him of the top of your friends list, take him off your im buddy list, and don't go to any of your favorite places for awhile because it'll just make you go back. Make sure you're over him before you try to befriends again.
Make sure you're not depressed about it if you ever seem to be around him because people love to kick you when you're down and make sure he knows that treating you wrong was the worst thing he could have ever done.I know this is long but I hope it helps because I know exactly how it feels
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