A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:("I fell in love with someone while i was in a troubled relationship.I decided to end the troubled relationship so i could go and start a new one with this guy i fell in love with and he was thrilled and said he was in love with me too. After a month he started acting funny and when i asked why he told me that he had a relationship before me and the girl is now pregnant with his baby. so he ended our relationship to be with her. I was devastated and still want him back.he seems to have moved on though and only talks to me occasionally or never at all. what should i do? please help . i am failing to move on.")Moving on from the question i answered and do appreciate the answers however i have a few more q's:This may be a childish thing to ask but does this mean that this guy never loved me ever or is he just doing all this for the sake of the child. Does this mean that he has fallen in love with the childs mother all over again? was i just not important enough for him/ i still dont get all this. he wanted her to abort the child. Maybe she has done this to trap him? Is this all happeningin the name of responsibility? How do i move on from this?i have decided to move to another country and start over.Just get away from everything. Do you think this is a good idea? I keep wondering though....did he ever love me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Running isn't going to help. Take a vacation, but don't walk away from your life because someone broke your heart. You may also find a completely set of rules to be prepared for. You'll find someone new.
DV1
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2007): Just because an ex is having your baby does not mean you have to go back to her. There are plenty of ways to hone up to your responsibility by helping out financially (it's usually required) and by pending time with the child but he does not automatically have to go back to this woman and have a romantic relationship with her, simply because she's having his baby. Therefore I assume he's going back out of obligation, guilt or stupidity. Does this mean he didn't love you? No. But the best way to find out is to ask him. If it appears that he really does still love this other woman, your best bet would be to move and let them get on with their lives. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 He obvioulsy went through alot with his previous partner who has bared his child and strong emotions and memories are bound to be attached and hard to break. I would'nt say he didnt love you at all. He most likely did but he never got over from his previous relationship, which is clear by his choice to "try again".
She may well be trying to trap him but he is an adult who is responsible for his own actions and choices that he makes, whether or not it maybe the wrong one. The thing is you have to accept that however hard it may be for you.
How do you move on? I dont think moving away is going to help, not in the long run anyway. I had this option a while ago and im glad i didnt make that choice, because only now i realise that would of been a mistake. You have to decide why you want to move away. Is it just because your surroundings remind you of him? Is there really nothing left where you are? Moving away to somewhere new may take these things out of sight but will they really be out of mind?
You need to resolve this in yourself by staying positive and looking forward in your life to something you want.. Any goals you have you want to succeed in. Time is a great healer and i dont think any distance is going to make any difference to the way you feel. Deal with this internally and over time you will percieve this siutation differently.
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