| A
age
41-50,
writes: Dear Diary, I have poor self confidenceBy Highmaintenance101I honestly can’t count the number of times I enjoyed answering questions about self confidence since I have joined this site. It always excites me to answer a question where in I have knowledge for I became a mentor way back for young people in the past regarding self confidence.My job before have given me that opportunity, from honest to goodness it was the best thing I’ve ever done my whole life. For I have seen changes from those young people, on how they carry their self, how to talk and act like you are not nervous but deep inside you are dying of nervous breakdown.Ok so let me recall, what makes one confident?Probably because of their good looks, good communication skills, smart, rich, when you have lots of money sometimes you feel the world is under your feet, your job, maybe you are earning like Cameron Diaz or Angelina Jolie does, maybe your business, whatever. There are so many shallow superficial reasons to make us confident.But the truth is confidence is workable something you can practice, if you know how to do it.Dear Diary, I have poor self confidence I can’t talk to my crush for I have 2 zits today on my face. On top of that I don’t have new clothes to wear at (school/work) I felt like I’m ugly and out of style. Most of all, my (teacher/boss) yelled at me today for having poor performance. When I look at the mirror, I saw someone else, it’s not me. My hair is all mess, my face is too oily and the guy I like from (school/work) he always cover his nose whenever he talks to me, what’s the deal? I can’t take it. What should I do?Sounds familiar?That story is not someone else story. But Mine. When I was in high school, I suffered from acne, my skin condition changes from time to time. Also I was a bit chubby, my body shape just begun to change when I turned 16. Out of nowhere, I just lose weight, and my face condition improved that people find I’m pleasant to look at with. My crush became my first bf. How did I do it?I was 16, I don’t know anything about being confident at that time. Although my looks had change but deep inside of me I still feel the chubby girl live inside of me. I can still see the girl, who had zits on her face. I can still smell unpleasant scent I had that turns off guys. No matter how I try to dress nicely I can still see myself as one who does not have any fashion sense at all. In short I am a loser.I finished school at the age of 21, I was able to practice my profession. I am a business course graduate major in marketing. My work demands me to be confident. I used to work for an events company. I was exposed to advertising world, a spoke person for our company by accident. That made me confident to the point I was asked to host most of our events.My job requires me to dress nicely at all times. So I work for a mall, I did their marketing campaign, since it’s a mall there are lots of freebies. I can get any clothes I like. In every events we have a makeup artist who will do our hair and makeup. The transformation is really drastic, but it won’t cover up the insecurities I have inside of me.It wasn’t easy. Every day I have to be confident. What everybody doesn’t know is that I still live inside of that chubby acne girl I used to be. I still live inside of that girl who can’t doesn’t have the nerve to stand up and do public speaking. It shows, and my boss talked to me. She is the terror of all terror, a very powerful woman who has influenced me in so many ways, she inspired me. She told me a beautiful face with a nervous breakdown won’t do on stage. I just need to believe in myself, she gave me the job because she knows I can do it the moment she saw me. All those make up, nice clothes, killer shoes, wit and a big smile on my face didn’t change the way I feel about who I used to be. Getting the job means gaining enemies too, along the side. I have too many detractors, who always have something bad to say. Let’s talk about our detractor’s.Who are this people?1. It could be your bf (who will tell you, you have too much make up) after he said that of course you will get conscious. What to do? Ask another person if you really have too much make up.2. Your workmate/best friend. I don’t think that’s right for you. It looks bad for you maybe you should get this. Unsolicited advice.3. Your parents. You look ugly. Thank you mom and dad. Wonderful4. Your boss. I hate your work. Start all over.5. Your date. All is well and suddenly he said I think you have a mustache. Really? I can’t believe him. It makes us feel so low and depressed. It’s depressing to hear unsolicited comment or advice. Especially when you know that it’s meant to break you. There is a big difference between a constructive and destructive criticism. I suggest for most of us to take constructive criticism in a mature manner for it is meant to mold us to be a better person. Destructive, kindly throw it away. It’s a comment from jealous envious people who lacks attention. It’s meant to be thrown in the trash can. Oh please don’t waste your time for it. Fortunately the Lord is on my side and most of the events I handled were a successful one.My secret:1. I tried my very best to have a healthy self esteem. 2. How can I achieve a healthy self esteem, I talk to God, I try to make a deep connection with him. For I know, in this world nothing is permanent. The world can take anything from me. But not my relationship with God. If God is with you, who can be against you?3. I try to be surrounded by positive people. People who will encourage me to do my best. Who will say constructive criticism not destructive one. 4. I stay away from problematic people. These are people who know nothing but to complain. 5. I stay away from stress, I took advantage of the free things I got from my job, like free facial, massage, spa, diamond peel, everything.6. I give free counseling from people who are losing hope, who almost giving up. I help them lift up their spirit and fight again fairly.7. I seek advice from my mentor’s; these are people whom I admire in the magazine and newspaper industry. I get nothing but support and good advices from them. I can never forget that. Those are the moments that I will always treasure my whole life.8. I try to have a healthy relationship with my family because they are my family. I can change bf’s now and then but my family is my family. I love them to death.After, we gained a healthy self esteem that’s the time you can finally fix your self confidence. But you should start within first. Because no matter how beautiful you are on the outside if the inside is ugly, it is all meaningless.Dear Diary,At this moment,I would definitely agree that I have changed a lot. My fashion taste let’s just say, it’s one of my talent, I can never go wrong with that. In putting Make up I follow the rule, less is more. I’m no longer an event’s organizer, but the experienced still lives within me. I will never get tired of giving advices to people who went through the same stage I did before.At my age, I am happy to be mistaken 10 years younger. People always make a mistake. Most of my admirer’s are really younger than me. Too bad, I have set a standard, it’s too high. But I’m happy I know I’m worth it. That’s what you called self confidence.I have a song for myself, which I listen to every time I am losing my confidence it’s called, I believe By: Yolanda AdamsIts an old song but it boost my self confidence.Thank you for reading.
View related questions:
acne, confidence, crush, depressed, jealous, lose weight, money, my boss, self esteem Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you anonymous reader.
its nice to know someone appreciate my work. actually I did this for 20 to 30 mins. My thoughts were not organized, I did not even try to correct my grammar, whatever. I just type and type without looking.
some people's life from here are also very inspiring and lots of moral lesson that we could learn from them.
Lastly,a friendly advise, don't compare yourself to other's.
Competition is healthy if you are into sports or a any type of contest.
But to compare yourself from other people, it could be your sister or friend or workmate, it isn't healthy. It will make you feel down at all times. You have your own quality and greatness that makes you special and shine from the rest.
All you need to do is discover it.
Again thank you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2013): Over all I find your piece very entertaining. The title itself made me interested to pay attention to it and finish reading it. I have a very poor self esteem because of my family. I was always pick on for I am not like my sisters who are really pretty. What made me realized today after reading this is that, I should try to have a healthy self esteem because you are right high maintenance 101 it all starts within. Thank you for sharing your life, its inspiring.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi janniepeg!
Thank you for having the time reading my article. I could not disagree with you. It is very true. Sometimes small things can have a big affect on everyone.
BTW, there's another song that I like that could boost or remind you about believing in yourself.
Its called "catch my breath" by alex goot and against the currents. Maybe you know it. its really nice.
Thanks again.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 August 2013):
 Confidence is a highly discussed topic but not everyone is aware of it in daily lives. This article made me think. It can start off with worrying about being late, forgetting a document, and a slight comment from your boss. You go on your day try to do your best. Then suddenly you feel bad, like a grey cloud was hanging your head. The world is not a safe place anymore. You try to blame it on other people. The world is stupid. It takes an hour or two to process what went on. By the time you analyze your mind you came to a conclusion that your confidence had been shaken a bit. That's also the time when you start to feel better.
I think confidence is a natural state that is also very fragile, very suggestive to outside influences. It is important to nurture confidence so when we need an extra does it is ready and available to us. There is a part of me that also don't like to be reminded that I lose confidence from time to time. It makes me a weak person and it's something hard to admit to. It always feels better to shift the blame onto other people.
I also like Yolanda Adams' music. It's not played enough.
...............................
|
