A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend’s daughter is having a 7th birthday party next weekend. It’s going to be at my boyfriend’s ex’s house. For some reason, I’m feeling uneasy about it. I’ve been to the girl’s birthday party last year and seeing the 3 of them together makes me very uncomfortable. I know this is something I have to deal with from the day I dated my boyfriend. It doesn’t make it any easier when I know my bf’s ex tries to pretend I don’t exist. She was the one who left my bf because she was cheating on him. She’s now living with the guy she ran off with and had another child. Anyway, so what am I suppose to do about my uneasiness? Not attending will be very rude of me but attending and seeing a de javu scene will be like torture for me. I had thought about dressing up and acts cool hanging around with my bf’s siblings while my bf plays the role of one of the parents of the birthday girl. I don’t feel like telling my bf about this. I mean, what can he do about it? But maybe I should just be myself. It’s very apparent that I’m more educated, more successful and my bf has become a better man than before. I’m the lucky one and she has the right to be jealous. I don’t know if I’m doing/thinking the right thing. I’ve only been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and already makes me uncomfortable, can someone just give me some advice that can help me in the present and in the long run too?
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male
reader, DV1  +, writes (29 May 2007):
 Keep in mind, that this party is for his daughter, and not for you. It's her night, let her have it. She's growing up, and how you act could rub off on her in a negative way. Go and be civil. You'll appear to be more mature.
DV1
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 May 2007):
 Just be the class act that you are and you'll feel much more comfortable. You will get more and more at ease in these situations the more you experience them.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (29 May 2007):
 You need to be the better person here no matter what his ex does or says to you to make you feel uncormfortable. be yourself and try and enjoy the occassion.
It is the people around you in scenerios like this that will notice odd behaviours and things that were said, so be mature and adult about it and just play your part best you can.
Make sure your boyfriend knows how you feel so he can be supportive of you there if you do start to feel uneasy or awkward. To be honest the day is all about the little girl whose birthday it is so focus on her and making sure you have a nice time.
Again, just be yourself thats all people expect from you.
R
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