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wishful thinking
writes:Dealing with alcoholicsWell all i can say is that when you are dealing with a drunk it can be so hurtful and demeaning to yourself and a mockery. Life can be so hard and the denial as some of us experience is unfathomable. If wishes could come true we wish our counter parts were normal and we all lived in harmony. But the truth is we loose to this awful disease as it can consume the people we love so dearly and as they say a "bird of a feather all stick together" so that means people that all drink to an access will accept their friends, to treat their friends, lovers and wives with so much disrespect and the lies that transcend from such atrocity is a very sad affair.How many of you allow your friends to pee on dishes,of on the furniture or in their clothes for that matter, also how about allowing them to beat up there partners and except the lies of deceit and disillusion, most people accept the situation as they do want to bother with other people's baggage and allow all of these things go unscathed, Alcohol can be such a lethal combination for a relationship to go down the tubes, and it does not matter how much you love that person, That person has to want to change on their own self being and for their future and not be the the known as the ole drunk of the neighbourhood or known as the comedy fool. It truly is sad when a person is intelligent to converse with before they start to drink and then they go through a metamorphosis and turn into a blubbering idiot and try to either beat you up or blame you for things you did not do, or try tell you that they see things that are not there or even threaten to kill you or they make you suffer from mental infidelity or promise you things and then tell you they love you. The next day they can not remember what they said or what they did and only the people that see them going through these changes are there to remember what happened. If only they were taped while being inebriated will they see what fools they really are. Anyone being involved with a drunk like that are setting themselves for a major heartache as people like these are unpredictable and very hurtful not only to them selves but to family and friends. I am only one in a million that think this way and I know my statement will not make much of impact, But I am also a victim of this sad situation and i just wanted to voice my opinions. I do belong to Al-anon and it has helped me cope with the man I love and the I am loosing to this disease. My advice to you all is think twice before being involved with people like that on a personal level, the pain and the heartache is not worth the effort.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): I think that is the issue I am having with my current ex---I honeslty believe he is addicted to alcohol.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): I think your article is very honest, and gives a real picture of what it can be like to be with someone with an alcohol problem.
I was once in a relationship with a man who had a serious alcohol addiction. It was a shame, because he could be such an intelligent, thoughtful, witty person. But when he was drinking, he completely changed. He stole money from me, he lied, he was manipulative, he could be cruel and nasty...it was an absolute nightmare. I put up with it for some time, convinced I could somehow "heal" him or change him with my love, even though I was becoming frightened of him.
But in the end, as you point out in your article, that person has to want to change themselves. Nobody can do it for them. So I left, walked away, and it seemed to be the push he needed to sort himself out. To this day though, I think he still struggles with alcohol, and he may always have that temptation to drink.
I'm not trying to say that you should leave someone if they have a drink problem. But I do think you need to be careful, and be realistic about the situation, and realise that only that person can change themselves. Alcohol can completely consume a person. It is heartbreaking to see, and terrifying to be around. So sometimes, for the sake of your own safety, there comes a time when you just have to walk away. It could even be the wake-up call that person needs to start recovering.
Thank you for your article, it is a real eye-opener. x
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