A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I have a 24-year old daughter who split from her boyfriend during the pandemic for reasons relating to COVID and anti-vax movement.That was her first and only proper boyfriend if you don't count the guys she dated at 15, before coming out as lesbian aged 17. Then she dated him aged 22 and they dated despite the pandemic and of course, her sexuality.I've no issue with her sexuality, I'm accepting of that.But that's not the big issue here. Nor is anti-vaxxers.The big question is that she's got together with her aunt, yes, her dad's sister (not one of my sisters, I got two sisters) and they've been in a secret relationship since the lead-up to Christmas.My aunt's husband, well, our daughter's uncle, divorced my wife to go off with a younger woman he met online; the woman was apparently notable in the neighborhood for dressing like a slut and making sexy videos of her turning on faucets. This was 3 years ago he moved in with the then-22-year-old who lives in a mobile home in a poor area of town.I didn't expect this. It's a gut-punch.Relationship's legal but not necessarily morally right.I'm now worried about the big change in family dynamics when, not if, this affair gets exposed.Like a vampire, won't this affair die in sunlight when exposed? Sorry, odd analogy but still... seen it used elsewhere on another relationship site.I've got a lot of worries over this.First of all, it was very sudden, no-one in the family had suspected her to be lesbian, the aunt that is, not my daughter. I feel like I need medication for this to cope with the stress.Is having a family round-table conference the only solution to deal with this, on the pretense it's a family party? Food, buffet food, drink, etc. no alcohol to avoid tempers flaring?I read a story about a woman who gave her niece a home and then the niece stole her husband; see https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/i-gave-my-desperate-niece-a-home-she-stole-1628349. This was 16 years ago. I, unfortunately, can identify now with the situation.I'm worried about the fallout.What could or will be the possible recriminations?Should I do my planned family party as cover for roundtable conference?I've also got stresses of my own in addition to this; first major work conference since COVID and social distancing, got to fly out to St. Louis, worrying about how to handle it. I got paid but hadn't worked for 2.5 years. I wasn't allowed to work during the pandemic, the boss told everyone via email they couldn't work remotely.Not getting into the anti-work ball of wax though.I've got two major stress-inducing headaches; my daughter's affair with her aunt, and plan to move in with her, and a work conference.I need to discuss this with my husband, but don't know when's an appropriate time.So far, post-pandemic, things have been quite gentle and quiet and now this threw a curveball, a spanner in the works.I would really like any help. No matter what advice you have to give.Be honest,t ell me where I've gone right or wrong.Really, really, really need help.
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affair, christmas, divorce, lesbian, met online, moved in Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2022): Actually, chances are that this relationship is not legal at all. In all but two of the States in USA , having sex with your parent's sibling is incest and a criminal offense.Punishable with a sentence from 3 to 15 years.
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