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male
age
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OldTimer Soon
writes:Because I have so many years of dating and being a strong salesman I have learned some "Dating Rules" that many have not learned yet.This article will explain "Transitional Dating." It is one of the most destructive and/or damaging relationships you can ever involve yourself. It is 95% absolute and is a Fact-of-Life. Goes like this.A couple meet -- sparks fly -- chemistry ignites. For example sake lets outline the circumstance as a Lady recently divorced. She looks great -- says she lost 30 pounds after divorce. She is nuts about you, caters to you, is a wild vixen in bed. She surprises you, cooks or sews or whatever pleases you. You are not complete until you are by her side after work each day. You are just as attentive as she it. You are both in your mid-30's and so you know this is not puppy love but two strangers have found the "real thing" and it is astounding. You and she both "glow" your friends say. What arguments you have hurt your heart and hers and make-up is fantastic.You both seem to fit like sunshine and blue skies. Today was one of the best days and nights in your life.Then there is tomorrow. It is a Thursday night and she simply says "I cannot see you anymore." Coldly, in such a matter-of-fact manner that you are totally stunned. Shorten the story. It is over as fast as it began. No changing her mind, in fact the more you chase what you had the more she is "turned off" by you. It is like you are poison.WELCOME to being the Transitional Victim. Her next guy she may marry and have little of what you all had together. What you and she experienced was in-fact "un-natural" and a coping system she had no idea she was exercising.She,unknowingly, used you to make the transition from her beloved Ex to single life. You had to happen to her. If you are divorced you did the same thing to some Lady.IF IF Here is the side note. The damaged one or one that was dumped from 1st relationship/marriage is the one that becomes the top dog in the transition. The person that did the dumping rarely does the Transitional thing to another person. It is a mental and emotional journey that is almost always taken.IF the small 5% actually marry -- it usually ends with everyone calling it a "rebound" situation. Few know about it, few even realize transitional circumstance exists even whether they are the dumpee or dumpor.One gets well and one gets damaged - badly. You will severely stomp on your own joy if you expose yourself to a newbie divorcee. Good Luck. You've been warned.
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reader, angelDlite  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 yeah, i have found to my cost that the new partner who blows your mind and seems too good to be true - usually is! they use you to claw back the self worth that their last partner took away from them. when they have got this affirmation and they feel good about themself again and realise once more that they can be loved - you are out in the cold!
i don't believe the hurt they cause is always intentional - they are happy and relieved that they have found love again but yes i agree with what you say - 'approach with caution'
my niece is going through the same right now. she met her boyfriend when he was fresh out of a marriage where his wife had left him. well, at first he was mr wonderful but gradually the cracks have appeared and it is clear (even to my niece but she doesn't want to give up) that the guy is not as into her as she is into him
my niece was a comforter when he needed it. everyone deserves to be treated as more than that
x
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011): Sad, but true.
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