A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:is it ok for a guy who just turned 16 to date a 13 year old. hes in 10th grade and shes in 8th? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): I think NO very strongly.
Three years is virtually nothing when you're ages 24 and 27 or something. But the difference between 13 and 16 is HUGE in terms of developmental & life changes. No amount of "she's mature for her age" is gonna begin to cover it. You're old enough to drive & work a job whereas she's still got one foot in the door of childhood. Different ages means different emotional maturity, etc. The balance of power in the relationship will not be even. And no matter how respectful & non-pressuring you might very well be towards her, YOU WILL still be causing her to face decisions & feelings that a 13-year-old should not be dealing with yet. You can't avoid it. She will still feel a certain amount of responsibility/desire to accomodate for the fact that you are so much older no matter how easygoing you remain about everything. And that's not a fair position to be putting her into right now even if your intentions are good.
You can find another girl without dipping this low on the age groupings. And if this particular girl is so worth it, then she'll still be worth it in a couple more years.
As the older one, it's your problem to be the mature one and have her best interests in mind. Even if that means avoiding a relationship that both of you may want to pursue at the time.
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (31 October 2007):
Step cautiously - take it easy. Providing things are casual I do not see a problem here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): Hey you,
The very fact that you are questioning this means you think things through & i think as long as the 16 year old remembers that the 13 year old is actually 13 it will be ok - respect her & protect her even from herself at times if she is forward thinking & i think the 16 year old will feel good about themselves - if it is just a case of how far can you get with her - i would suggest somone more your own age group.
Be Safe
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): i think it is. Many couples i know have an age gap of two to three years and they are extremely happy. If it feels right then go for it just bare in mind the age gap and you will be fine.
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